This week I had an early morning walk in the mountains. There is something magical and transcendent about an elevation away from “the hustle and bustle” of humanity. The sounds and smells are always awe-inspiring and remarkable. My sojourn into nature’s embrace was also so blessed. A sense of peace pervaded my thoughts. I stopped and remarked on this. This stream of consciousness, (1) my thoughts, are uniquely my own: my universe, my personal and inner reflections, can be accessed by no one but me. I am alone: there is no one but me and my connection with infinity, with God as I see him. This idea produces a sense of naked and unvarnished terror in many people; they do not know how to deal with this freedom — hence the phenomenon of the unrequited life. (2) This does not have to be.
The unique smell of any decaying flora has to be one of the more notable signatures of change. It could be bouquets being donated after a wedding, flower arrangements moved at the conclusion of a funeral or perhaps the scent of a freshly mowed lawn. All indicate closure with the potential for renewal. It is interesting to note how the five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell) have such a powerful hold on whom we are and how we develop. I have read that after a military battle, the stench and sight of death are such that the experience can never be forgotten. This is five days after the battle of Borodino on September 7th, 1812. (1)
Life is an interesting phenomenon – my life is an interesting phenomenon, that is, because, aside from my connectivity with the universe, it is the only “real” reality I have ever known, know at this moment and will know in the future. That being said, if you truly set your goal on something – whatever it is – given your set of givens, (1) and plot a determined course, you will achieve your goals, perhaps. This caveat is here because, firstly, our givens are somewhat limiting and, secondly, of course, life is fickle. When I say determined, I do mean that all your power has to be focused on that one goal, whether it takes an era or not – think Churchill! (2) You do run the greatest chance of happiness in your lifetime if you adopt this position. This is due to the fact that your mission in life, hence your happiness, is not embodied in the goal – the arrival – but, in the journey.Notably, it is the interior journey that has real meaning in the end.
Why do so many of us appear to be afraid of living? Is it because we fear a lack of life – of death? Or, is it because, like any new piece of clothing, it initially feels uncomfortable and takes time to get used to — is this the reason? I am perplexed, to be honest. I only, of course, know what I know. That being said: our experience is similar, I am sure. I have worn the clothes of adolescence, the clothes of the student, the clothes of the salesman, the clothes of the businessman and the clothes of the educator. At each new sartorial change, the attire was uncomfortable and quite disquieting, at the beginning. We have to “grow into” our new clothes. Is this not life? Our being, our reality, our “comfort zone” is wracked with changes and alterations during a lifetime, whether we invite them or not.
We have a tendency to not remind ourselves often enough, to forget, that it is a good life – for as long as we have it. This is a claim that is difficult to hold prior to being born and it won’t be tenable, most assuredly, after we are deceased. There is a school of thought, however, that believes the words should not be “have,” — for as long as we have it, but actually “endure,” — for as long as we endure it. When you think of the trauma that life is for most of us, this idea is totally understandable. There is only one problem. This is the only life – my only life in this consciousness. Nothing is true unless I deem it so. If I see life as pain, a collection of endless failures, it is. Conversely, if I view it as a great adventure on a path to personal achievement, it can be this instead.
I recently experienced a morning that I had to get somewhere in a hurry — a common occurrence for all of us, I am sure. This necessitated the proverbial “mad rush.” I paid absolutely no attention to my immediate surroundings — with the exception of looking presentable. I was focused on my goal. Everything appeared to be a mere blur as it passed by. In the foreground was a long light that “I had to make” if I were to be on time. The gods were against me, however. The light shone a dull red as I approached the junction. It was as if to say, “Stop: catch the moment.”
I am old enough to remember a time that communication was on foot. It was virtually impossible to phone a girl, so you had to go to her house, knock on the back door (the front being too audacious) and inquire if she was at home. No one can ever forget the prying eyes of the grandmother seated beside the stove in the kitchen. Being a bit bookish, my imagination easily pulled me back to 19th century Britain and the physically-gnawing coal fields of Eastwood Nottinghamshire, the birthplace of D.H. Lawrence. (1885-1930)
You awaken poorly: another day, dull and confused. It is raining outside — bleak and cold. The day feels portentous. You are suddenly beset with the existential questions of life: how do I find the path that is rumored to be in front of me – how do I uncover my life mission? We can all identify with these kinds of days, I am sure. Curiously: it is this seeking, this quest that keeps us alive and imaginative. The most heart-rending statistic is that less and less individuals can begin seeking because their daily needs are barely met.
The concept of the “big break” pervades our society. It is what the lottery system thrives on – just one inexpensive ticket and you will receive Nirvana (1) forever. It doesn’t happen quite this way, does it? The post-Millennial generation, more than ever, however, is addicted to the “big break theory,” to use my terminology. We see it in the instantaneous superstars, the successful bloggers, and the, so-called, influencers. They seem to have achieved success effortlessly. This is a generation that has seen this illusion thrust upon it, but it can’t be so. (2) It is a false and misleading perception.
What happens when you are unconventional? You become different: you step into a world that is distinct from your confreres. Now, this presents a wide kaleidoscope. This uniqueness can extend from acts of criminality to simply wearing unorthodox clothes or dying your hair green.
