Personal relationships have never come to me easily. Though in my lifetime, I have been fortunate to develop several close and long-term friendships – extending back some forty-five years. I used to think that this was simply a quirk of my personality. The more you seek — you are not quite sure what — the more doors are flung open. In this context, when you embrace an idea or a thought or the personality of someone else and they accept you, “just for who you are,” you are deeply touched and subsequently, loyal.
The acceptance of me
The other morning as I trundled to the washroom for my requisite shave and teeth brushing, I thought of the dynamism of life itself. I am often filled with a sense of immense gratitude: it is age I am told. There is only the now, as Eckhart Tolle (b. 1948) tells us. “The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” Well, this particular day placed me in front of a mirror at sixty-two. I can totally identify with how Rip Van Winkle (1) felt when he suddenly woke up. “On waking, he found himself on the green knoll whence he had first seen the old man of the glen. He rubbed his eyes—it was a bright sunny morning. The birds were hopping and twittering among the bushes, and the eagle was wheeling aloft, and breasting the pure mountain breeze. ‘Surely,’ thought Rip, ‘I have not slept here all night.’”
The comedy of life
I think that each of has a life filled with comedy. We usually miss most of its performance because our day-to-day existence seems to get swallowed up by a pervasive sense of seriousness. When I say comedy, I mean in a classical sense: a series of actions that produce a happy result. (1) I remember some of the more notable comedic occurrences in my own life. Some of the most telling are certainly with growing up, becoming “a man” and courting, or dating, as we now like to say.
The important pieces
If we needed to give it a characterization, we would label it an unintended “conspiracy of silence” (1). This, of course, refers to the discussion of growing up. All secrets are only exposed through experience and not via sham communications. We are not informed of this. We subconsciously paint a fake picture of the future by being given rose-colored classes to wear. (2) Life is a lot like falling in love – you hear a lot about it – but, when you get there, it is totally different. No one tells you about the emotional terror and disorientation that maturity brings. At twenty or so, I am free to be me. What does that truly entail? Falling back some forty years, I recall honestly feeling as if I were drowning. I didn’t know what to do and I was afraid, but I was educated. I am sure that it is the same today.
My personal brand: can it be created?
I was proceeding down an elegant boulevard the other day when my journey was arrested for a moment by a traffic light. As an exercise in mindfulness, (1) I labor to pay attention to my physical environment – the cars, motochas, and bicycles whizzing by are also an intrinsic part of my present world of movement. Once the traffic begins to move, it is as if you are caught up in some enormous wave — a primordial heartbeat. The vehicles all purr in unison and you are off to catch the next stoppage. I admire the occasional renegade who doesn’t wait for the full green but advances with the red still displayed. My ardor was somewhat cooled recently, however, when I saw one of those courageous souls struck by a scooter coming in the opposite direction — also hurrying to “beat the light” – Ouch!
Is violence a human attribute?
We are subjected on a daily basis to violence and violent acts – a bombing here, a murder there, some small wars beginning everywhere, and so it goes. None of it is real, though, to the average person’s reality. We have our Digital Age (1) and its handmaiden the mass media to thank for this perception. The net result is fear. Ask any class of bright-eyed adolescents and they will assure you that we live in heartless and bloodthirsty times.
Freedom is never free
Whenever I begin a new class at the local university I teach at, I always ask “What is your goal in life?” Depending on the time of year and the class size, seasonal economics affecting the overall mood (bonus time and the like), I invariably get one or two people who will respond with, “I want to be rich!” The philosopher in me springs forth and my riposte is “And How?” This is usually met with a somewhat resentful, stony silence, as if to say, “That is phase two: first I need the desire.” I then pounce with the further affirmation: Money is not free. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work,” to quote Thomas Edison (1847-1931). I often wonder if most of us are really prepared for the absolute “grind” that the achievement of “financial success” actually takes — I think not. As with any career, a requisite amount of time must be paid into it for the occupation to be successful.
The fountain of youth
Christopher Columbus, quite remarkably, was not the first European to set foot on the mainland of the Americas. That title goes arguably to Ponce de Leon. (1) In the apocrypha associated with his voyages, he was tasked with searching for the mythical Fountain of Youth. (2) This concept was first introduced into Western thought by the historian, Herodotus, (3) though its pedigree is certainly much older:
“The Fish-eaters then, in turn, asking of the Ethiopians their length of life and diet, said that most of them attained to a hundred and twenty years, and some even to more; their food was roast meat and their drink milk. The spies showed wonder at the tale of years; whereon one led them, it is said, to a spring, whereby by washing wherein they grew sleeker, as though it were of oil; and it smelt as it were of violets. So frail, the spies said, was this water that nothing would float on it, neither wood nor anything lighter than wood, but all sank to the bottom. If this water be truly such as they say, it is likely that their constant use of it makes people long-lived.” (4)
Is the truth true?
It is common knowledge that the concept of “Doublespeak” (1) was first introduced into English by George Orwell (1903-1950) in his dystopian novel, “1984.” (2) Winston, the principal character, awakens to his predetermined life and attempts to alter its pathway. Ultimately, he fails and is forced, once again, into mental servitude — the thrust of the grim tale being that we can never truly escape “Big Brother.” (3) But, of course, the thinking man would of necessity ask, “Is that true in the liberal, democratic and capitalistic countries of the world? It is a good question with no straightforward answer.
A perspective on life
The older I grow chronologically, the more I am fundamentally perplexed. Consciousness is a lot bigger than it used to be – both figuratively and philosophically. Perspective: who I am and what is my life mission, has always been dominant in my life, in spite of my confusion, however. I believe that whether a person is 16 or 60, this has a relevance to one’s day-to-day reality and how the world is seen. A small example: When you are with a group of young people, it is very easy to adopt their level of stress, especially with the 3rd graders – the senior high school students. Every generation has key junctures that potentially change the direction of where you are going and what you believe will be your eventual place in the universe. I try to caution that, though an examination and its results might seem like “the end of the world,” it isn’t. Life will go on unless you are expunged from this corporeality. What makes time remarkable is that the “big test” may simply be a weigh station, deciding your “load capacity,” so to speak, as you proceed on a totally different journey.