If we needed to give it a characterization, we would label it an unintended “conspiracy of silence” (1). This, of course, refers to the discussion of growing up. All secrets are only exposed through experience and not via sham communications. We are not informed of this. We subconsciously paint a fake picture of the future by being given rose-colored classes to wear. (2) Life is a lot like falling in love – you hear a lot about it – but, when you get there, it is totally different. No one tells you about the emotional terror and disorientation that maturity brings. At twenty or so, I am free to be me. What does that truly entail? Falling back some forty years, I recall honestly feeling as if I were drowning. I didn’t know what to do and I was afraid, but I was educated. I am sure that it is the same today.
In school, you are at least thrown a life vest. Once you truly leave formal education’s embrace, however, you often feel exposed. Social media fills our head with a plethora of artificial images. There is no plan or roadmap that can truly set you on your way. The individual must traverse this path alone and be responsible for its consequences. You are your own proverbial “tabula rasa” (3) and thus possess all possibilities and lack all the tools to access them. That being said, there are clear methodologies to help you analyze where you must go and what you must do to get there.
Firstly: You must “take the big walk and have the grand talk,” as I like to call it, between yourself and your Prime Mover – some entity exterior to you. Some people call this God, Yahweh, Allah, Brahma or Gaia: you choose! This is your best friend and will remain with you for your conscious life. Get to know this essence and get to know it well. Your ethereal being will always be there for you and will never, never let you down.
Secondly: You must develop a plan. This could be as simple as a plan to find a plan. The search is actually “great fun.” Get a piece of paper and at the top write, “My Gifts.” Divide the remaining space into two by drawing a line down the middle. Pen two subtitles: “What I am good at,” on the one side and, “What I am bad at,” on the other. Get to work filling out this page with the little details – both the good and the bad – that make you, you. Show this to no one: not your mom, not your dad, not your siblings, and especially not your best friend. Why? This is because they love you and want the best for you. They, nonetheless, may have a vision of you that might be wrong. It may not be your vision of you. Forge on with this. Hard work is usually rewarded: this includes the athlete or the performer. Nothing is given without effort: this is one of the major truisms of the world. How many times have we seen the hardest working person rewarded over the most intelligent, though laziest? It is the details in the plan and in the action that inevitably bear the greatest harvest. The fashion icon and philanthropist, Diane von Furstenberg (b. 1946), leaves us with a thought: The most important relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself. And then after that, I’d say once you have that, it may be hard work, but you can actually design your life.
A closing thought: Recently, I saw some comments posted by a father on a popular social media site. He was advising his sons to forgo university and go to trade school; then get a job, and save money: forget any nonsensical dreams. They did not pay well. Life was hard. I read this with a heavy heart. Not because going to a trade school is bad, quite the contrary. Most people should not go to a university, I believe. It is not a job training institution or, at least, should not be. What saddened me was the concept that life was hard. It is hard, but what adventure historically wasn’t? I am sure that the first primitive explorers found their journeys hard, as well. They, notwithstanding, infused their travels with wonder and excitement. Is this not what this “one” life should be, an odyssey of exploration, a crusade of the self?
To sum up: This week, we spoke about growing up and the difficulties that this presents for everyone. Still, we must keep our hearts open and our minds seeking for the truth to make this a better world for all our human family, which includes the beautiful, me.
A philosophical question: Why do shoppers at a 50% off sale look so unhappy?
Just for fun – The cup song
This week, please ponder the concept of real communication and how we can achieve it.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: I must remember that when I speak, I perhaps am not being understood.
Footnotes:
1) Conspiracy of silence (expression)
3) Tabula rasa is a Latin phrase often translated as “blank slate” in English and originates from the Roman tabula used for notes, which was blanked by heating the wax and then smoothing it.