The other morning as I trundled to the washroom for my requisite shave and teeth brushing, I thought of the dynamism of life itself. I am often filled with a sense of immense gratitude: it is age I am told. There is only the now, as Eckhart Tolle (b. 1948) tells us. “The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” Well, this particular day placed me in front of a mirror at sixty-two. I can totally identify with how Rip Van Winkle (1) felt when he suddenly woke up. “On waking, he found himself on the green knoll whence he had first seen the old man of the glen. He rubbed his eyes—it was a bright sunny morning. The birds were hopping and twittering among the bushes, and the eagle was wheeling aloft, and breasting the pure mountain breeze. ‘Surely,’ thought Rip, ‘I have not slept here all night.’”
Even though I know this is me through my memories, it is still “a bit of a jolt” to first look at that wizened “you” in the mirror: Not bad – “a few tire track tracks” across the face, but basically the same guy as at twenty. I can identify with young people and the concept of body image, however. Though we didn’t have the Internet and the world of everything, we did have gossip and the castigation of others – real or imagined. I was the ugliest boy in our class – maybe the universe. It wasn’t until I was 16 that this was expunged by a young maiden who told me that I was good-looking – once again, real or imagined. The effect was the same: I accepted my body as (more than) adequate in a world of bodies — one of many, many. My reality, however, to be fair was very limited. I lived in a village of 1,000 individuals. I did not live everywhere; I did not grow up in the Digital Age.
I was recently reading some very troubling articles in the Guardian that document the frustration a vast amount of young people feel with their bodies and the social and psychological implications of this dissatisfaction. (2) The enemies here are, of course, the Internet and its ally, the yellow movie genre – pornography. These industries are all pervasive and permanent. No amount of censorship or denial will remove them from the lives of adolescents. They are irreversibly listed in the Big Five addiction handbook: alcohol, drugs sex, money, and power. We must educate, not eradicate, because we can’t. The history of attempts at stopping any, “all-pervasive,” substance in a society is fraught with failure: think alcohol and Prohibition (3), and now drugs and pornography.
The cessation of smoking has been one of the more successful health campaigns. When I went to high school, everyone smoked — and that included the teachers. Now, it is hard to find a smoker in North America or in Europe and this blight is even waning in Asia. The new industry is marijuana. This hopefully will be controlled with intelligence, as well. I believe that if we speak candidly, we will make a difference to our friends, to our family and to the community as a whole. The message: there is no escape from the beautiful you — your temple, your body, is just that – your sanctuary. No one else inhabits you, but you. The other curious truism is that that only way you truly find truth, to be redundant, it through clarity. None of the great sages were renowned for being drunk, stoned and then enlightened.
The great writer, mystic and thinker, Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821-1881), leaves us with a lengthy thought: “There are seconds, they come only five or six at a time, and you suddenly feel the presence of eternal harmony, fully achieved. It is nothing earthly; not that it’s heavenly, but man cannot endure it in his earthly state. One must change physically or die. The feeling is clear and indisputable. As if you suddenly sense the whole of nature and suddenly say: yes, this is true. God, when he was creating the world, said at the end of each day of creation: ‘Yes, this is true, this is good.’ This . . . this is not tenderheartedness, but simply joy. You don’t forgive anything, because there is no longer anything to forgive. You don’t really love — oh, what is here is higher than love! What’s most frightening is that it’s so terribly clear, and there’s such joy. If it were longer than five seconds — the soul couldn’t endure it and would vanish. In those five seconds I live my life through, and for them, I would give my whole life, because it’s worth it. To endure ten seconds one would have to change physically . . . .”
A closing thought: It seems to take a disproportionate amount of time to become comfortable with your “givens” (4) in your life — I am a man, I am 16, I am white, etc. Once this is achieved, nonetheless, you are free to develop your personality and ultimately your career – your calling. It is a great pain to many older people that they have lived out their lives in virtual denial of what they should have done with their time in this consciousness. Often, we are forced to delay doing what we should do because of financial concerns. We must be wage slaves for a period of time. This is quite normal. The secret is to not get ensnared by life’s circumstances (marriage, children, houses, mortgages, debt, etc.) and never get on the path to your career at all.
To sum up: This week, we spoke about accepting your body and its image. It is, after all, the only one that you have or will receive. The acknowledgement of this gift is your key to a magnificent life.
A small joke: A man was extremely stressed at work. He stopped at a local pub on his way home. “One thing led to another” and it was soon quite late. He realized that his wife would be very angry at his tardiness so he decided on a truly fantastic story to tell her. When he arrived at the front door to their home, she immediately confronted him. “Where were you?” she demanded. “Honey, you would never believe it.” the man quickly replied. I was captured by Martians and taken to our local pub and forced to drink and drink. They only released me just now and I quickly came home to you.” His wife looked at him deeply concerned. “Baby, are you all right?” The man was speechless. “You believe me, then?” “Of course,” came the quick reply. “The same Martians were here not 10 minutes ago and they destroyed all your favorite golf clubs in the back garden.”
Just for fun – Lady Gaga
This week, please ponder your own concept of who you are – your personal body image.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: To learn to love and respect the self, both inside and outside my body, is one of the major attributes of a successful life.
Footnotes:
2) Porn not only messes with young men’s minds, but their bodies too. Why one in six young girls in the UK feels ashamed of how she looks.
3) Prohibition