Goals

The concept of a life goal is an essential element to a healthy and long-lived existence. Many years ago when I lived in rural Canada, I overheard a man admonishing his young charge about the boy’s future. The father was telling his offspring to forget leaving his village and going to university. What would be the benefit? Here, he could get a union job, (1) make a good living; find a nice girl to marry and raise a family. What else was life about?

The young man was having none of this, he wanted something more, whatever that was – hence the heated discussion. The father and the son were both right in their thinking on life, weren’t they? On the one side, if I believe that life is simply “a blip in time” that I fill in with dutiful tasks and ephemeral pleasures, it is. If, however, on the other, I see it as a grand and necessary adventure only given to the beautiful me, it also is. The choice is simply my own.

This would have been a relatively easy conversation some 100 or even 50 years ago. Then, we still lived in a world of relative ignorance. Presently, it is no longer possible — not with the average human being receiving around one hundred thousand pieces of information into his phone on a daily basis. (2) Thinking people know that, nowadays, we are faced with a plethora of stark choices. I can venture forth into the game of life and accept the consequences of a bruising and fateful battle or I can simple acquiesce to mediocrity and never engage.

In its most extreme, I can surrender and become a Freeter (3) or “lie flat,” the newest expression from China: “Young people in China, exhausted by a culture of hard work with seemingly little reward, are highlighting the need for a lifestyle change by ‘lying flat.’ … The idea behind ‘tang ping’ – not overworking, being content with more attainable achievements, and allowing time to unwind has been praised by many and inspired numerous memes.”(4) There it is presented in the clearest of terms: “sally forth,” to an uncertain and unpredictable future or simply “play it safe” and wait till my mortal time on Earth ends – and in many religious traditions — hope for an eternal future, which is certainly possible.

I personally support the former. The only reality I truly know is the one I occupy right now. I see consciousness very much in the tradition of Dr. Wiktor Frankl. (5) Life is a mission; the only dilemma being that I must discover or rather uncover my own holy grail. (6) These, like my thoughts, are a private matter. That said, how do I discover my individual goals in life?

Firstly: nothing is easy – everything requires effort. At its most basic, I am obligated to start at the beginning. I must develop a routine to harness my creativity. Every day I begin by making my bed and then writing my thoughts and ideas in my notebook. Out of this will emerge a pattern, I will comment on something I saw or did yesterday, for example. Look for a model! I have a cousin who has a successful business in the auto trade. I don’t like cars, but the idea of business does sound interesting. The successful travel agent Rick Steves (7) shows us the way. His father owned a piano store, in other words, a business. But, after one trip to Europe, he discovered that he loved travel and travel writing. After the requisite objection from his father, he eventually melded the two, developing a successful travel business.

The point to all of this is that life is to be savored and not simply lived. The profound regret and bitterness that so many old people hold “dear to their hearts” are not because they failed to achieve their goals. It is because they were not “a little bit brave enough” to even try to achieve them and now they consciously know that they are going to die – “game over,” at least in this reality. (8) The secret is to promise yourself, whether you are 16 or 60, that you are not going to be bland, you are going to have a modicum of flair, an element of élan, in your life – and why not? Goals go a long way in accomplishing this objective. The great writer and intellectual, C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) leaves us with a thought: You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

A closing thought: I often have people tell me that they have no goals in life or at least they can’t find them. I always like to pose the question. What color do you like? This may seem like a strange question. But, everyone seemingly likes some color even if it is no color at all – white, that is. The point is that if you like something, you can extrapolate it to something larger: if you like blue, you may like a blue dress, you like to wear that dress when you dance, it feels good when you dance, you, perhaps, would like to become a dancer – and so it goes. You must simply start: make your bed and write in your notebook every single day. The beginning to goal setting always requires a routine.

To sum up: This week we spoke about goals and how to discover them.

To be noted: From Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) — He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

Just for fun: Don McLean performs American Pie live at BBC in 1972 – Newsnight archives

For reflection: LAOCOÖN AND HIS SONS: The Tragic Battle Between Man and Serpent

This week, on your peripatetic walk, please reflect on your own personal goals.

Every day look for something magical and beautiful.

Quote: Don’t ever, ever give up on life and she will never, ever give up on you.

Footnotes:

1) What Is a Union Job?

2) Americans consume 100,000 words of information each day, study says

3) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeter

4) China’s new ‘tang ping’ trend aims to highlight pressures of work culture