Contentment

Those moments of peace and contentment in a person’s life are few and far between. This is a very common belief and the Buddha tells us that this view is actually true; at least this is how his words could be approximated. (1) You would think, however, that since we are no longer covered in lice and ticks and sores and boils, and we live relatively long lives, that happiness would, at the very least, be on the ascendant. We should be happier today than we were, say, 100 years ago. The opposite is true, unfortunately. (2)

Our material success is not concomitant with our psychological well-being. Why not? The easy answer is that in recent history, we have been exposed to too much affluence and too many choices. This is especially true if you have an undeveloped mind because it has been overcooked in a broth of Internet stew. We are simply victims of our capitalistic and materialistic society – poor us!

It is, unfortunately, far too easy, in my estimation, to shirk our personal responsibility and blame society and the time we live in for our feelings of sadness and despair. Yes, times have changed. We are less connected physically than ever before in human history — that is true. (3) And, the worldwide pandemic has only exacerbated that fact — true again! The root of the problem, nonetheless, lies much closer to home. It lies with me.

I water the garden on my own discontent — not my era in history, not my society, not my social background, not the color of my skin or my place of birth – me, I am the only person who is truly responsible for my contentment, my happiness. Why do I believe this? Barring mental illness, I am alone in the world. I cannot jump inside your head and view your perception of consciousness in the same way that you can. It can be approximated; hence the disciplines of neuroscience, psychiatry, and psychology — to name but a few — but it cannot be replicated. That intimate conversation can only be held with God, I believe. (4)

So what am I to do? My answer would be to get real and get to work – put in your efforts on discovering “the real you,” that is; and, you can. Your tools are readily available: prayer, mediation, and introspection. A friend of mine said to me many years ago that it is easy to be unhappy and hard to be happy. At its most simplistic, this is true. If I simply accept that I am some frail biological entity that will be expunged sooner than later, I am. If in spite of my fears and misgivings, I conclude that existence is one enormous adventure, filled with the vagaries associated with any risk-taking journey, it also is. There are no guarantees in life unless I take no chances at all. In safety, there is guaranteed unhappiness; in chance, there is the possibility of joy and contentment.

The choice is up to the individual, which would you choose? This is true at 16 or at 60. Your future extends no further than your perception of the world. The Chinese sage Lao Tzu (5) leaves us with a thought: Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.

A closing thought: We are underwhelmed with a surfeit of noise and images. It is difficult to find anything to grasp onto to stop the flow. It is therefore up to the self, up to me, to stop and center myself. I can then make the fundamental decisions about my life and its mission that will produce the contentment that I desire. The notebook is an essential tool in this regard. It allows me to be safely self-reflective without any social opprobrium because it is only written to me.

To sum up: This week, we spoke about the desire to find contentment in my life.

To be noted: The wise understand by themselves; fools follow the reports of others.

Just for fun: