在一生中如果能找到一個知心人是一件相當幸運的事情，我們可以坦誠相見進行深入的對話，這對於身為人必會遭逢到各種困境時的抒發來說相當重要，我很榮幸在二十出頭時結交這麼一個之心的好友，我們已經認識超過三十年之久，由於他的低調不願讓我撰寫他們真名，在這邊我稱他為約翰，約翰生在經濟大蕭條時期的英格蘭，而在他出生前的第一次世界大戰已經讓英國的景況跌落谷底，而這些戰爭不過是站在權力頂端的人之間的一場遊戲，而這場遊戲造成了無數的家庭破碎。
在那段期間有一本名為Goodbye to All That的重要著作，作者Robert Graves描寫著身為第一次世界大戰英軍一員的啟發，書中敘述著他作為中尉於戰爭中領會的各種經驗以及他的詩人好友Siegfried Sassoon，此書記載著不少悲劇卻無義的戰役。
如同Graves，約翰在完成學業及服完兵役後離開英國，經過一次和二次世界大戰的摧殘，整個英國已經搖搖欲墜，在認為沒有任何前景的情況下，約翰和一位友人決定擲硬幣決定他們未來的去向，背面是前往南非展開作物生涯，正面則事前往澳洲開啟畜牧人生，澳洲似乎比較期望他們的到來而贏得勝利，他和朋友便先前往紐約等待澳洲去程的輪船，不過各種發生在生命的小事都會引領你前往完全不同的旅程，在輪船延遲的情況下他們輾轉來到多倫多並選擇停留，一個原本不在計劃當中的地點，在一九五零、六零年代，仍是殖民地的加拿大充滿這不少勇於挑戰自我的人，對於一個來自保守地方的約翰來說，那是一個絕佳的機會。
一項使約翰如此有吸引力的天賦是他的談吐用詞以及文學造詣，那是一項身為銷售員的絕佳武器，所以約翰最後賣車或賣房去了嗎？不，他玩得更大，他跑去兜售礦坑股份，他坐著飛機深入探訪礦區並遊說投資人，年僅三十出頭已是個有家室的地產大亨。
一些個人因素導致他離開原本經濟重鎮上加拿大而到了多倫多，這也是我和他相遇的地方，他如今仍在股票市場相當活躍，但漸漸的轉變生活型態使自己有時間從事各種休閒活動，如今天已滿八十三歲，有著在各種領域獲得成功的四個孩子及十一個孫子及孫女，他徹底的享受的他的一生。
If we are truly lucky enough in life to meet a real mensch, a person of unparalleled integrity and honor, we are remarkably fortunate and unduly blessed: we have a guide to counsel us in the daily trials and tribulations of just being alive. I was lucky enough in my early twenties to make the acquaintance of such a man. We have now been friends for over thirty years. I will call him John because, as with many great men, he prefers to remain anonymous. John was born in England just as the Great Depression (1929-1939) was slicing into the fabric of British society. This cloth was already in tatters from the, so called, Great War (1914-1918). This collision of aristocratic egos was anything but great and had bloodied virtually every family in the British Isles with the loss of a loved one: a brother, a father, an uncle, etc.
A seminal book of this period is “Good-Bye to All That, an autobiography by Robert Graves (1895-1985) which first appeared in 1929. The unsentimental and frequently comic treatment of the banalities and intensities of the life of a British army officer in the First World War gave Graves fame, notoriety and financial security. A large part of the book is taken up by his experience during the war, in which Graves served as a lieutenant, then captain, in the Royal Welch Fusiliers, alongside his equally famous comrade, the poet Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967). Goodbye to All That documents the bitter fighting in the first phase of the Somme Offensive (1916) and gives a detailed description of trench warfare, including the tragic incompetence of the Battle of Loos (1915 – the first British use of poison gas).”
And like Graves, my friend left Britain once he had finished his education and military service. World War One crippled the county and after World War Two, she was effectively bankrupt, (1) and for a bright young man afforded no opportunity. He and a friend tossed a coin at a party: tails was to South Africa and a career as a planter and heads to Australia, and the sheep and cattle industry. Heads won and passage was soon secured to New York City on the next available passenger liner. Life is filled with those subtle meetings and moments that change your sense of direction. After a slight delay in the US, he arrived in Toronto and remained. Canada, in the early ‘50s and ‘60s was filled with swashbuckling men seeking their fortunes in “the colonies.” To a young man from a conservative and somewhat staid society, the opportunities were electrifying.
One of the great gifts of my friend is his attractive personality and his excellent command of spoken and written language. Such skills are excellent components of the true salesman. Now did my colleague sell cars or houses? These expectations did not fit the time period: no he sold mining stocks, flying up to the actual claims (2) to gain a descriptive “lay-of-the-land” and the capacity to vividly bring to life the many characters that populated the Canadian North, and still do to this day. By the time he was in his early thirties he was married and rich in the burgeoning real estate market.
Then a change in personal circumstances took him from the economic heartland of Upper Canada to the wiles of British Columbia and Vancouver, which is where I met him. He continued to dabble in the stock market but finally settled into a more leisurely pace that included writing, painting and yachting. Today at 83, he has four successful sons and some 11 grandchildren: certainly a life well lived and truly savored. I leave you with his quote: Let miracles replace all grievances in the immediate future for the good of all concerned.
A small joke: What do you call a pupil sitting quietly and attentively at the front of the class? The answer: an exchange student
This week, please reflect on the mentor in your life.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: Why do so many of us dally away the days, in our time of physical and mental prowess, and find our mission in life too late to make a difference? Don’t be a fool: spend your time wisely.
Footnotes:
1) The Last 1000 Days of the British Empire (ISBN 978-1596-91742-2) by Peter Clarke is a superb reference point.
2) A mining claim is the “claim of the right” to extract minerals from public land and the capacity to defend that right in a court of law.