Why are you so sad?

The thought that life is a competitive race is a common theory held by many. Two ideas are implicit in this belief and these, I contend, can only produce sadness and a sense of loss. The one is that you must be aggressive and “win at life.” This begins in school, continues at university, and is a tacit understanding of your working time. The other is that existence is fast and fleeting. It is a finite period of consciousness, isn’t it – filled with short-lived moments of joy? Most of our experiences only reinforce this view. Our cities are overwhelmed with mechanical devices and peripatetic people. We are busy, busy, busy, and take little time to ponder and reflect – numerous people are unhappy because of their lifestyle and yet can’t or won’t change.  

Recently, on a stroll through a suburban park, I was given two examples of this discontent. The first was a young child weeping uncontrollably, all the while berated by her mother; the second was an old man sitting on a bench staring at nothing with angry, hurt-filled eyes. The youngster is easy to understand because she is too young to perceive what dejection truly is. The elderly individual’s behavior is, however, harder to apologize for. Living, in principle, should be a journey of self-knowledge. If I fail to live by this caveat, I do so at my peril. 

Once I gain consciousness at 20 or so, I am obligated to pose the important existential questions: who am I; why am I here, and what is my mission? Failure to frame your life in these terms can only result in suffering and sadness. Anyone who has reflected on the aforementioned statement about life knows that we are not competing with others; we are only grappling with the self. I must be excellent in my efforts and not accept mediocrity. I am the only person who can be my own judge, jury, and executioner: 

But in this Court, what Diff’rence does appear!
For every one’s both Judge and Jury here;
Nay, and what’s worse, an Executioner. (1) 

The second, that life is short, is mostly presented by the aged. If we have spent our years in the acquisition of things – money, power, etc., — there will come a point at which every thinking individual realizes they have little if any intrinsic value. Nice things are great, they enhance my external being, but they cannot define who I am. Many people, upon the realization that life is not just the attainment of financial well-being — or if there is a crisis that, potentially, removes those accouterments from their lexicon — take drastic measures. (2) At the very least, a sense of betrayal and bitterness descends on their being.   

Both premises, the competitive nature of life and its conciseness, thus lead to nothing but dissoluteness and despair. As we grow in years, we must realize that “the adventure of life is our own to grasp.” Tragedy, emotional or physical, potentially befalls everyone who is willing to take a risk in life. One should be thankful to have had the opportunity to exist at all. Sadness can play no permanent part in the ultimate reason for my life. The author, Shannon Alder, (3) leaves us with a thought: I am convinced that the jealous, the angry, the bitter and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way and sees life not as a competition. They reach the summit last because they know God isn’t at the top waiting for them. He is down below helping his followers to understand that the view is glorious where ever you stand.     

A closing thought: When I awake, I quickly feel the effects of being alive. The day is grey and I am wracked with feelings of remorse and sadness. Should I have a frustrating and ugly day?  Yes, of course, if that is how I define the day. No, if I cannot afford the luxury of self-recrimination and victimization — I am too occupied today. The point is that I decide my day. If I want it to be a positive, uplifting day, it is. If I resolve to make it the opposite, it also is. I must believe that I am in control of my inner self. “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” (4)   

To sum up: This week, we spoke about sadness and how we can ultimately be in control of our emotions. 

To be noted:  One should speak little with others and much with oneself. 

Just for fun: Joan Baez – Fare Thee Well Abschiedstour – Live @ Pariser Olympia 13.6.2018 (COMPLETE HD CONCERT)

For reflection: Raphael: A collection of 168 paintings (HD)

This week, on your superlative walk, please remark on how you respond to the sadness, and the joy, associated with life. 

Every day look for something magical and beautiful. 

Don’t be a wage slave – critical thinking is great! 

Quote: I, ultimately, must acknowledge that I control my own reality. 

Footnotes: 

1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Double_Dealer 

2) German billionaire left ‘broken’ by financial crisis kills himself

3) Shannon L. Alder

4) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning 

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