Do you remember the last time you received a gift? I do. It was given to me with such warmth and appreciation that my presence seemed to be rewarded simply for being myself — the net sum of my attributes. In that moment, I felt worthy and even exalted. The same is equally true when we give a gift. When we give openly, simply to express appreciation or kindness, the act carries a great deal of weight and value. Unfortunately, the art of gift-giving is becoming a dying skill.
Less and less people give gifts on an ongoing basis. This could be a direct result of social media, or perhaps we are no longer being properly trained in what constitutes good social etiquette. Either way, fewer and fewer people are treating gift-giving as the art form it deserves to be. We often confuse gift-giving with something physical in the form of a present. In Western culture, the concept of gift-giving has been overshadowed by the commercialization of holidays such as Christmas. (1) Too often, we no longer give gifts freely. Instead, gifts are given out of obligation rather than generosity.
This creates a troubling dynamic. People worry about the financial debt incurred by keeping up appearances. Credit cards and easy access to money have only fueled this situation. One has to ask: why would you put yourself in debt simply to appear successful before family and friends? Yet many of us do exactly that. This may be connected to what might be called the “age of comparison,” (2) where status and image weigh heavily on our decisions. In this way, a genuine act of kindness has been exploited for material gain.
If we think back in history, we find a much deeper understanding of gifts. The story of the three wise men — the Magi in the Bible — gives us an iconic image of meaningful gift-giving. According to tradition, the wise men saw a star in the East and followed it to Jerusalem and then to Bethlehem. (3) There, they presented gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the infant Jesus.
The psychologist Carl Jung even interpreted the Nativity and the giving of these gifts as a symbolic event — an emergence of the Self, the deeper and more authentic person within us. (4) In this interpretation, the most important gift you can give yourself is individuation, the lifelong journey of becoming a unique human being. Gifts change people. Let us continue, then, to make gift-giving the art form it deserves to be. The monk, peace activist, and scholar, Thich Nhat Hanh, leaves us with a thought: The greatest gift you can give someone is your time, your attention, your love, your concern.
A closing thought: Try this small experiment for three weeks and then judge the result. Each day, write in your notebook that you will perform one act of kindness, however small. Once you have completed the act, write it down. It might be something as simple as giving a piece of candy to a classmate, helping someone pick up a dropped notebook, or offering personal counsel to a friend in need. You will soon see that people respond very positively to even the smallest expressions of kindness. They exist. They have value.
Ultimately, the greatest gift you receive is your consciousness — your life itself. There has never been anyone exactly like you. There never has been, and there never will be. But you must open the door to your uniqueness. We are living in a time when originality is discouraged — when society resembles a vast anthill where individuality is quietly suppressed. (5) Some may even feel that none of us is worthy enough to celebrate the simple gift of our own presence.
Yet a small recognition of life can change everything. Acknowledge that you are alive today. Begin the day in silence for ten to fifteen minutes. Use this time to reflect on the thoughts or dreams that remain with you from the night before. Recognize their value. Then write these reflections in your notebook. Afterward, make your bed and begin the day. It is important to remember that there is no reality except the present moment. The past is finished, and the future is only an illusion. The gift of the moment is time. To honor this moment — to document the day — is a gift I give both to myself and to the people I love.
To sum up: Today, we spoke about the intrinsic value of gift-giving.
To be noted: From Winston Churchill — We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8MGiPo5IxU&list=RDG8MGiPo5IxU&start_radio=1&t=746s
For reflection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCGWQPhDz8s
This week, on your thoughtful walk, please reflect on what gift-giving means to you.
Every day, look for something magical and beautiful.
Don’t be a wage slave – critical thinking is great!
Quote: Reward the people around you with your presence.
Footnotes:
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n01cuKT_FdU
2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKTOpHIr9mc
3) Matthew 2:1-12