Joy and flourishing. What do these concepts mean? Well, I think all of us realize, at some point in life that people are very similar. Maybe 10% are not that clever and 4 or 5% are brilliant, but the rest are just like you and me. And we all struggle with these things that seem to come to everyone in life anxiety, frustration, and joy, and success as well.
And I’ve spoken about this before. But the real secret to life, I feel, is to take control of my emotions. And this is not something unique Victor Frankl speaks about this in Man’s Search for Meaning, that he gave himself joy even though he was in the most dire of circumstances. Now if doctor Frankel can do it, so can we. We can do the same, but we have to make a conscious effort, I feel, to take control and realize, of course, that not every day is going to be a good day.
When I wake up in the morning, I can decide whether today is going to be a good day or a bad day in theory, but someday, perhaps I haven’t finished my homework, or I’ve had a bad dream, or I’m dealing with some emotional crisis, and the day is not going to be a good day. And I have to accept that to a certain extent, But I would like to give you a small secret, if I may, a small trick that you can change your emotions if you have to on that day. It’s really important when you’re giving a major presentation or perhaps a speech or you have to meet people of influence, and you have to appear happy for that time, but you’re feeling so unhappy. So what do you do? Well, it’s an exercise that’s called the 4 by 4 or the 4 times 4.
You breathe in, and you count 4. And then you hold it 4 times, and then you breathe out, and then you hold that silence for 4 times. And then you do it again 4 times. The 4 times 4, and what this does is it stimulates your natural opiates, your endorphins, if you will, and this will produce, after 5 or 10 minutes, an improved state of mind. Try it.
It’s actually quite remarkable. It works. Now it doesn’t work forever, of course, Maybe for 20 minutes or 30 minutes, like any drug, if you will. It’ll give you some sense of elation for a period of time, and then once again, you’re on your own. You drop back to feeling not that good.
But then, of course, the mind takes over and you realize who makes me unhappy, who makes me depressed. It’s not these external phenomena that will occur always in everyone’s life. It’s me. I’m accepting them, and I’m taking them in. So then then the mind itself can sort these things out with some training, I believe.
Well, unless not what I believe, it’s well known in psychology and in people. Happy people have been able to find a way, and a big secret here as well is that prayer brings peace. Prayer. You can pray to nature. You can pray to God as you see him.
You can go and take a walk in a park, or you can go to a mosque or a church or a temple. Find that way that will bring you a state of joy. This joy itself will lead to a flourishing life, and like any great experiment or any great trek or any great journey, any great work, you have to put time into it. So if you want to improve the joy in your life, like going to a gym, you can, but it just doesn’t come to you automatically, sadly. Most of us will not win the lottery.
I buy a lottery ticket every week. I’m 68 years old. I won a $100 once, and it was a big deal to me. So the chances of becoming joy filled without effort are the same, very slim, but the chances of becoming joy filled through practice, through exercise, through prayer, etcetera, Very good. That’s why our grandparents many times are happy because many of our grandparents were religious, and religion seemed to be that opiate that Marx talked so much about.
But I think he was discussing it from a negative perspective. But from a positive perspective, it’s wonderful. You know, there are many churches in Poland. I’ve been to quite a number, and they do bring a sense of peace. And I’m sure all the people sitting in these churches are not great believers in God as you see him or anything, really, but they go there for a sense of peace, a sense of joy.
Now we live in a world that seems to be so external, doesn’t it? I’m sure we’ve all had this experience. We go and have a meal, and somebody needs to take a picture of the food. Then you ask them why. Oh, I just wanna post it on my Facebook page to share my joy.
No. No. You’re actually sharing your vanity to a large extent because only you can give you joy. It’s not something external. It’s not.
And many people believe it is. A more beautiful girlfriend, a more beautiful car, etcetera, etcetera, will give me joy. And then suddenly one crisis, the girlfriend or wife leaves, the money is all gone, stock market crash, and they fall away, and you ask yourself why. Well, obviously, they’ve not built their life on a solid footing, and you can, and you should, and why not? Why not make yourself joy filled?
One life in this reality, why not make it as joy filled as you can? Why not flourish? Why not flourish like a beautiful flower in a garden? Why not? And you know what they say. You know what they say. Critical thinking is necessary if we want to find joy and we want to flourish in life, and critical thinking is great. You take care. God bless. Bye bye.