We are all private beings, aren’t we? I live inside myself. The only thing that makes me unique is my ability to extend my kindness out into the world.
The art of gift-giving. I’d like to speak a little bit about this today. I’m always a little shocked when people give me a gift.
And I have received several in my life, and when it happens, I’m deeply touched. It’s as if your being somehow is being validated. I’ve had people, for instance, give me flowers.
Girls, girls have given me flowers, and I also have given girls flowers. And so you’re touched by all of this, but increasingly people are giving less and less gifts, it seems to me.
For instance, every now and then, people come to dinner at our home, and many times people bring nothing at all, absolutely nothing. Not flowers, not a cake, nothing. And I think to myself, well, perhaps they’re bringing the gift of themselves.
Maybe that’s the gift they’re thinking to themselves that I’m bringing.
And if that’s really true, if they’re really bringing something special at that time, some idea or some thought or some piece of emotion that’s going to make your life a little bit more joy-filled, it’s a welcome gift for sure.
But I suspect that many people are actually bringing nothing at all. So, why, why, why is the art of gift giving falling away? Because you think back to your parents’ time.
Gosh, you would never go anywhere without bringing a gift. And my mother has told me that on the farm some 50 years ago or so, when anyone came for a visit, they didn’t have any cash money.
That is, my grandparents didn’t have any cash money, even though the farm was supposedly quite successful. But they always gave you a gift when you left. They would give you a loaf of bread or a chicken or some vegetables, eggs, something.
And people also brought gifts when they arrived. So it became this kind of celebratory phenomenon in a certain sense of the word. We were always giving gifts.
So why is this stopping? So what does the art of gift giving give us, if you will?
Well, I think the first thing it gives us, it gives us a psychological sense that we have validation. And it’s a kind of ceremony, isn’t it? So it strengthens human bonds.
If I’m gracious to you, in turn, you’re going to be gracious to me. And I think it borders on the world of generosity, doesn’t it? Are you a generous person?
I often tell people, when you meet people, watch how they use their money. Are they willing to be kind to you, buy a coffee, buy dinner, whatever it is or not? They’re giving the gift of kindness.
It produces, I think, gratitude. You’re grateful that they’re kind to you, and they’re grateful that you’ve been able to accept. Have you ever had somebody refuse a gift?
That’s weird. Really strange. And even if you don’t really like the gift, to refuse it is truly an oddity.
Gift-giving most assuredly increases happiness, doesn’t it? Everyone feels better when a gift has been received. Something, especially something like flowers or chocolates or something that really kind of bolsters your mood in the given day.
And I think gift-giving also increases our sense of empathy for human beings. And I know, historically, people used to spend a lot of time preparing gifts. The gift had to be special, didn’t it?
If you were going to give it to royalty or perhaps somebody of an elevated status, right? Gifts were important. And if you ever notice that if you get a special gift and you use it, it stays with you.
One of my students gave me a tiny lock that I can put in my notebook, and I’ve kept it just forever. It’s a kind of bookmark. It locks the page, and it’s very, very clever, right?
And then I always remember how kind that class was, for sure. And I think, most assuredly as well, it makes us thoughtful. Should I be doing more, right?
Should I be kinder? So I think, in the world we live in today, we must slowly begin to be kinder to each other, because we don’t live in a world of anger and violence.
But I think, in a way, people are increasingly afraid to give gifts, because if you give a gift, do I owe you a gift, right? It kind of works like this. Now, if we digress into Western culture, some of the high holidays have gotten perverse.
In a way, like, for instance, Christmas. In Christmas time, you’re expected to give gifts, basically. If you go to somebody’s house, you bring gifts.
And I think many times people don’t want to bring gifts, but they feel obligated. And there is some thought that people, poor people in particular, take on debt just to look as if they are naturally generous, right?
That they have extra money to be able to spend on gifts. So, wow, great tragedy in that sense, isn’t it? And ultimately, the gift that you must think about is the gift that you’ve received just for being alive.
So, you should give back, if I may, the gift of gratitude every single day when you wake up. You should thank God, Gaia, or the universe for giving you life.
So, now that you’ve received this gift, this precious gift, you can now go and give the gift to others and to help others. So, here’s an experiment.
In your notebook, create a new section called An Act of Kindness. And every single day, for the next twenty-one days, try to create one act of kindness. Do something kind.
Open the door for someone. Buy someone a box of chocolates. Tell someone a joke to make them smile.
The gift of humor just goes on. And record that gift in your notebook. And at the end of twenty-one days, tell yourself how you feel different.
And you will feel different because you’re now acknowledging your presence in the world, aren’t you? Because once again, as I said before, we live in our own private world.
And unless we make a really sincere effort to extend ourselves, it’s impossible to have real social intercourse. Impossible because people live mostly, I think, in fear.
They don’t live in love because they don’t know how to get outside this box called the body. Not really. For instance, to digress, let’s take why people get an education.
I get an education to get a job, make money. But that is, in a sense, ridiculous, isn’t it?
Because an education should teach you, especially in this dynamic age that we live in, it should teach you how to learn, not what to learn, how to learn how to learn, literally. So that’s the gift that you owe yourself.
The knowledge of life and the changes that are associated with life. So think about gift giving. It’s important.
And try to imbue your consciousness with the thoughts that you must continuously give, if possible. Give to people. It will make everyone feel better, and you, in turn, will feel better as well.
And you know what they say. You know what they say. Critical thinking is excellent, especially if you’re going to learn to give gifts properly.
And critical thinking is great. Absolutely great. You take care.
God bless. Bye-bye.