Whenever I walk down the street, I always look at the eyes of people. And if you try this, I’m sure you will find the same that many people are very sad, and they are experiencing loss or failure in their lives somehow. And I think everyone, if you’re alive in today’s modern world or perhaps forever really, you’ve experienced loss failure at some point in life and you know yourself. You come to the middle of the road and the left is absolute failure. Homelessness, alcoholism, drunkenness, you name it.
And the right is a chance, a chance on me. And you’re not quite sure where it will go, but you know it’ll go somewhere. And when you begin, those halting steps, you’re embarrassed perhaps depending on your loss, but slowly but surely, you will go forward, won’t you? And the experience is a unique one because if you give a nod to perhaps Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, if you say to yourself, we are all the same in our happiness, but unique in our sorrow because we live unique lives for sure. So how does one come to the other side of loss or failure?
How? How do you survive and not be one of those homeless people or broken people? Homeless people on the streets and broken people perhaps in a dead end job, dead end relationship, whatever. You’re a winner because we’re all winners. Gosh.
The 8,000,000,000 people on this planet, we’re all potentially winners. But ultimately, most are brow beaten and by the time life ends, it’s a mess. We’re not contented at all. So what am I to do? Well, gosh, I think the very first thing we have to do is we have to acknowledge that this is what has happened.
We can’t fool ourselves and say, oh, no. No. This has not really happened because it has. And then for sure, we have no one to blame but ourselves. It’s my fault.
And yes, maybe your spouse cheated on you or maybe your business partner stole from you or, gosh, you failed that exam because you weren’t prepared. The professor switched the questions. Whatever it is, it’s still 100% your fault because your life is 100% your responsibility. No one could jump inside your head and look at the world in the same way you can. Can’t be done.
You’re alone in that sense. And this is a good thing if you are going to get out of this disaster. Right? If you’re gonna get out of it. So you better acknowledge your feelings.
Maybe you’re bitter, you’re angry, you’re frustrated, whatever. Acknowledge them and then slowly begin to act. No matter how big your grief is or how much your pain feels like it’s going to overwhelm you, begin your routine once again. Even if you are in dire economic straits, get up in the morning, make your bed, Say your prayers. Write in your notebook.
Begin your day. Begin that routine. And then get to a coffee shop, have breakfast, get out into the job market if you must, whatever it is, and give yourself that time. Right? And then once again, perhaps you need to reframe the person that you were before.
Perhaps before you were married and now you’re single or perhaps you were a business owner and now you’re not. Perhaps you were a very elevated human being and now you’re much more humble. It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, I must begin. Find meaning in this.
There’s a reason for my life. Gosh. There is. I must find my meaning. Right?
And, Leon, remember to remind yourself, there’s no one like me. There never has been and there never will be. I’m going through this time of drama. And I think at that point, get to a library and read about people who’ve experienced this trauma similar to you. Perhaps if you were an emperor, you’ve lost your empire, now you must begin again.
Businessman lost your business, begin again. Married man, it goes on, right, in a relationship, etcetera. And what are your small wins today? What are they? Perhaps you felt a little bit better, etcetera, etcetera.
Now many people say that I should get to a professional. Talk to a professional. I personally am a little bit afraid of professionals. I certainly have talked to professionals before, but ultimately, I realize that unless I have mental illness, and most of us don’t, that no matter what happens, ultimately, I’m gonna have to deal with myself anyhow. Right?
So take it all with a grain of salt. Protect yourself, I would say. And then, ultimately, remember that there is hope. There’s always hope until you’re dead. And as Oscar Wilde picked up by John Lennon, great quote, it’ll all be fine in the end.
And if it’s not fine, it’s obviously not the end. So think to yourself, many, many millions of people have had loss and failure in life, and many failed, but also many succeeded and went on to live dynamic lives, maybe even better lives. Who’s to say? So don’t give up. Don’t give up on you ever.
Ever ever ever ever. And you know what they say. You know what they say. Critical thinking is necessary especially if you’re going to overcome loss and failure, and critical thinking is great, truly great. You take care. God bless. Bye bye.