怎麼樣的人才是完美的？如果我們試著從大多數引領這類形象的人身邊尋求答案，或許我們很難找到答案，她們擁有渾然天陳的美麗、不必為錢所困、重點是他們還有著自己的時間。而大多數不在那個範圍的人也必須從那不是那麼完美中尋找自己的價值。許多被完美的價值觀所影響的年輕人很難接受自己的缺陷，記得我還是高中生時從來不覺得自己是一個理想的人，心理上也為此受到打擊，如果不是在我的母親引領之下，我可能得花好幾倍的努力成長及接受自己。
然而那種完美的形象很能深植人心，國中時期我們班上的班花Judy Pleiser開始和一個有車的學長交往，在那個時空背景下的加拿大交通工具並不發達，沒有車就意味著你只能選擇雙腳或單車，而那絕對不是什麼羅曼蒂克的意象。在我們涉世未深的眼中，那個有車的男孩就像是得到了一張開往天堂的通行證，而那台載著班花的車至今我仍印象深刻，那台車就像故事中的蛇髮女妖，我們光看著它就癡癡入迷，像被石化的我們也感覺到自己的渺小。她最終也答應他的求婚步上禮堂，年紀輕輕的她還得靠著父母的簽署才有辦法結婚，當年的她十四歲、他則是十七歲。然而他們卻無法像電影般有個美好的歷程，婚後不久後悲劇就發生了，她的丈夫由於酒駕將車子撞毀，自己也半身不遂，留下得獨自奮鬥的她以及三個孩子。
面對許多可能產生自我懷疑的人，解決問題的關鍵就在你是否可以建立自己的品牌，你是唯一一個可以決定自己要成為怎樣的人，你需要理解自己的獨一無二，你需要發自內心的體會自己的美麗，那種美麗是不論膚色和體態的。建立個人品牌的觀念就在自己如何推銷、展現自己，並把自己的人生看做一個品牌，成功的關鍵在於你懂不懂得包裝自己，而這個概念最早被Tom Peters提到，後來在Napoleon Hill於1937年出版的Think and Grow Rich一書中發揚光大，這個概念的細節包括如何在成長過程中建立自己在他人心中的形象。
而這個品牌概念也隨著網際網路的發展更被看重，人們開始在虛擬世界中創造自己的價值，這使得這個虛擬世界的經營足以影響現實生活。為了經營自己的品牌，許多人在社交網站上都費了好一番功夫，行銷大師Seth Godin建議我們應該將自己名字的網域購買下來，這是一個相當有趣的想法。對於完美的看法，我認為每個人在生命的開端都是完美的，而我們的任務就是要如何透過成長將自己的完美變得更加完美。
What is the perfect individual? If we follow our mass marketeers, we would have little difficulty in identifying the consummate body type and the ideal lifestyle. Both involve effortless beauty and copious amounts of unfettered money, coupled with the most important prize of all: time. The vast majority, who fall outside this idealized spectrum, must find value and worth in a not-so flawless life, and make it meaningful. Young people, in particular, are pushed to adopt these images. (1) Many have great difficulty in accepting the “bumps and bruises” that are associated with adolescence. I remember very clearly not being, or feeling like, an Adonis (2) in high school and the suffering that those raw emotions entailed. Without the wise and guiding hand of my mother, I would have had even greater difficulty than I did in developing an integrated life.
For some, however, the stereotype was very real. In my grade-eight year, the class beauty, Judy Pleiser, began to date an older boy who owned a car. Now in this backward part of Canada, absolutely devoid of even the concept of public transportation, if you didn’t have a vehicle, you either walked or rode a bicycle: neither trait conducive to self-worth or romance. To our unworldly eyes, this young man possessed the carriage to nirvana: to paradise. It was imperial blue with four tires faced with golden, interwoven wheel covers: fantastic! You had to shield your eyes from its gaze, fearful that, like Medusa, she (in English, cars are usually feminized) would turn you to stone: your being having so little value. He proposed and she accepted (her parents had to sign the legal documents necessary to allow a minor to marry): she was fourteen and he was seventeen. The great human tragedy is that all of us know the “Hollywood–ized” archetype does not really exist. The corollary to this story is that her husband became a paraplegic after smashing his car in a drunken stupor, leaving her with three young children: not the fairytale ending. Many biographies of the famous and powerful tell us similar tales of addictions and vices that no one would want, regardless of the social exaltation: think Marylyn Monroe or Rock Hudson.
The answer to this great spiritual angst (Am I good enough?) is the concept of the personal brand. I am my own teacher, I am unique and I am the most beautiful person that I know, regardless of my body color or shape. “Personal branding is the practice of people marketing themselves and their careers as brands. The personal-branding concept suggests that success comes from self-packaging. This specific term was first used and discussed by Tom Peters, (3) though the concept was introduced by Napoleon Hill (4) in Think and Grow Rich in 1937. The idea entails the ongoing process of establishing a prescribed image or impression in the mind of others about an individual, group or organization.
Branding has reached a new level of importance because of the rise of the Internet. The growth of the virtual world has created the necessity of managing online identities. Despite being expressly ‘virtual,’ social media and online identity have the ability to affect the real world. Due to the fact that individuals want to portray themselves in a certain way to their social circle or professionally, they strive to maintain a certain image on their social media sites.” The marketing Guru Seth Godin suggests that we buy our own online name. Go to Godaddy.com and look up your name: interesting. The point here is that each of us at our beginning is perfect and our mission in life is to fully display and magnify that perfection. The great scholar, theologian and philosopher, Thomas Aquinas, (1225-1274) leaves us with a thought: Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.
A small joke: A young student said to his mother, “Mom I got one hundred on my test today.” “That’s excellent,” his mother exclaimed. “Tell me about the test.” “Well I got a twenty in math, a thirty in English and a fifty in spelling.”
This week, reflect on your own, unique personal brand.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: We must guard against comparing ourselves to others. Though this is difficult, it is the only way to be truly fulfilled and happy.
Footnotes:
2) Adonis, in Greek mythology, is a Phoenician demi-god of beauty and desire.
3) Thomas J. “Tom” Peters(b. 1942) is a business-management expert, best known for the book “In Search of Excellence” (co-authored with Robert H. Waterman, Jr).
4) Napoleon Hill (1883 –1970) was an American author in the genre ofpersonal-success literature. He is widely considered to be one of the great writers on success. His most famous work, “Think and Grow Rich,” is one of the best-selling books of all time (at the time of Hill’s death in 1970, Think and Grow Rich had sold 20 million copies)