I create my own fear, don’t I?

I create my own fear, don’t I?

I often open my eyes in the morning accompanied by a startling thought: “I am awake, ergo, I must be alive – it is, therefore, another good day!” This is a jarring “reality check” because, at sixty-seven, more so than more tender years, you, quite literally, might not wake up. Books have been written on this greatest of all unknowns: death and its attendant fear and paranoia.

As I approach its door, I understand less and less why you would be afraid. When you are dead, well, you are dead. Whatever your religious interpretation of the hereafter, this phase of your reality has been transformed and transported somewhere else. I am much more concerned about being alive; in this capacity, I can act and react, or, as is usually the case, not act at all. It has to be one of the most disturbing realizations: if you don’t act — you have still acted — bizarre, and ultimately, unfair!

If you want to crawl into your limited perceptual box at twenty years of age and never venture out, why can’t you simply be left alone to exist in your dull, unimaginative world? The short answer is that this is not how the universe exists: physical reality is dynamic – it always has been and, undoubtedly, always will be. What then, is hindering the greatness that each unique individual possesses? Fear! Fear of what, you may ask? In many, I would conclude, it is the fear of everything – from social opprobrium to asking a girl on a date.

I have personal experience with this latter tragic occurrence. I was a shy, withdrawn, and introspective young man. In this condition, it was extremely difficult to make friends, and certainly girlfriends. Nevertheless, I was extremely fortunate. One day there was a beautiful new girl in our class: Miranda. We really “hit it off,” for whatever reason. Slowly, at least from my perspective, we began to get closer and closer. Finally I “drummed up” the courage to ask her to become my girlfriend.

On that fateful day, I was well-versed and more than adequately prepared. A man must be ready to fend off probing questions, mustn’t he? “Why not just remain friends?” and the like. I arrived at school and as soon as I saw her in the hallway, I verbally pinioned her.

She parried my thrust and replied: “Leon, first I must tell you something.” “No problem,” I replied. I was actually relieved that I had been granted a few more moments to build up my courage. In the silence I hear, “I have met a boy,” and I keep waiting for … “and his name is Leon.” But no: what assaults my senses is, “And his name is Bob!” Now, with all due respect to the Bobs of this world, for me, this name still unleashes a wave of nausea and despair. “What?” and then the knife through your heart, the kicker! “Leon, are you OK, you are happy for me, aren’t you?” And, the feeble, disingenuous reply, “Oh, of course,” I was too late. My fear had allowed me to procrastinate. I had waited too long!

It was a seminal moment in my life. From this point forward, I promised myself that I would act in all future circumstances, even when I was deathly afraid. And, I mostly have. Some of these actions have been a great mistake, but I would never have known if I had not acted: remember, no regrets.

Dr. Wayne Dyer (1) leaves us with a thought: Notice each day whether you are choosing to live in fear or in love. Fear can keep you disconnected from the loving presence inside of you. … You can make the decision to be free from fear and doubt and return to the brilliant light of love that is always with you. Who you really are is that unclouded love. (Parts of this essay were first published in 2017)

A closing thought: Who wants to go anywhere at the moment? Not me: it is far too dangerous. This, of course, is just not true. Now, life is fickle, and bad things do happen, but the chances that they will happen to you or to me are infinitesimally small. The fear that is presented to us, each and every day, is yellow journalism (2) of the worst kind. Life is good, kind, and exciting if you want. And if not, that is up to you.

To sum up: This week we wrote about fear: why it exists and how we can overcome it.

To be noted: From Krishnamurti (3) — Fear twists our ideas and makes crooked the ways of our life; it creates barriers between people, and it certainly destroys love.

Just for fun: 

For reflection: 

This week, on your thoughtful walk, please reflect on how you can overcome fear.

Every day look for something magical and beautiful.

Don’t be a wage slave –critical thinking is great!

Quote:  My sixth sense, perception, allows me to connect with God and the universe.

Footnotes:

1) 1111 – THIS VIDEO FOUND YOU! (don’t ignore it) | WAYNE DYER

2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_journalism

3)The Ending of Fear | Krishnamurti