It is a curious thing — we are all isolated in our own thoughts. I look across the room and see you. How can I “catch your eye?” It is not easy. Aristotle (384-322 BC) along with many philosophers and thinkers, intimates that “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” (1) That said, if you misunderstand my gaze, there is virtually nothing I can do. How then do I make that journey from the self to invite the other into my world of kindness and understanding? With some caution, we are told. Studies tell us that we form a conception of the other individual within just seconds of our initial introduction. (2) The way I present myself, my personal brand, (3) goes a long way in determining whether you are encouraged to continue to chat with me or not.
This is relatively easy in the case of business contacts because we have an overriding desire to complete some form of financial transaction. To this end, we are usually willing to disregard our beginning apprehension to complete the pecuniary task at hand. My emotions, my feelings, are always secondary to completing the sale. I do not have to like you to “seal the deal.” It is to be noted, however, that an exploiting pursuit — like prostitution in any form — is so punishing to the psyche because the function must be completed regardless of one’s overall revulsion. We live in a time of tremendous choices.
Many times, we must do things that we are spiritually and morally against, but these endeavors “pay the bills” and allow us to economically survive. Any job that we detest would be one of these. This could be an OnlyFans page (4) to a repetitive office position. Wage slavery is not only unpleasant, but it is also dangerous to our health. (5) We must grow into a career and remove ourselves from the drudgery of this type of economic life.
Now, how do we build personal relationships excluding family members? In the Internet Age, we exist like leaves on the sea, buffeted by so many winds and currents — so many choices. Firstly, to develop a social rapport with other people, you must know who you are — you must create yourself. Who am I, what do I want out of “my piece of life” and how will I convey this to the world? A very common answer, especially when we are young is, “I don’t know!” If this is true, you are very lucky because you are a blank slate — given your givens. (6) Once again, get out your notebook and begin to document your daily activities. Develop a personal routine. These patterns are a creation of you — your private image. How the “great you” can be created is simply up to you and your level of self-created discipline. I believe this to be true.
Gary Vaynerchuk (7) leaves us with a thought: It’s important to build a personal brand because it’s the only thing you’re going to have. Your reputation online (is everything), and in the new business world, this is “pretty much the game,” so you’ve got to be a good person. You can’t hide anything, and more importantly, you’ve got to be out there at some level.
A closing thought: Recently, I was watching a program on style and dress. (8) It was interesting because these men were only putting on stylish clothes. It was impossible to tell who they were as people — what they “stood for.” The physical outcome, nonetheless, was that they had more power and presence. This is certainly an advantage when you want to catch someone’s eye — when you desire to “stand out in a crowd.” In the modern era, everyone is very active. It is simply up to each of us how we want to present our personal image to the other. — to other people. What bearing do you have? This can all be created because it is up to your efforts. It is you who decides how you want to physically be seen.
To sum up: This week, we spoke about how to learn to make a good first impression.
To be noted: From Oscar Wilde (9) — Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
This week, on your reflective walk, please ponder how you are seen in the world.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Don’t be a wage slave – critical thinking is great!
Quote: I must decide what I want my physical signature to be in society.
1) On the Soul
2) How Many Seconds to a First Impression?