Since I was a little boy, I always have embraced change. Perhaps embrace is the incorrect word. If I were truthful, I would say fear. I deeply fear change, but, in each occurrence, I am motivated by the opportunity to overcome my apprehension. We all know I believe, that change produces a result – not necessarily positive or tragically negative, it simply moves us further down the path of time. We all identify the motivators: the relocation of home, the collapse of a relationship or the commencement of the school year, to name but a few.
I feel overwhelmed!
What they don’t tell you at “life school” is that, though we may all look unique and have different personalities and charming idiosyncrasies, we are all basically the same in our humanity: we suffer. We feel the pain of being alive, though “I am free to be me,” whatever that means. This realization comes upon the average person at twenty or so much like a hurricane. Its overwhelming power virtually knocks us down and emotionally cripples us. It is painfully common that this awareness coincides with the time when the majority are the most perplexed – the most confused. We are attending a university that we are, secretly, not totally enraptured with; taking a popular subject that, to us, appears verbose and overstated (international trade or business management, anyone?), and dating the boy or the girl who is just perfect for us, at least according to our parents and friends. Ostensibly life is great: then, “Why am I so unhappy, why do I feel so unfulfilled?” The answer, of course, is that you have not discovered your “true calling.” The pundit would respond, “So what: life is hard, get on with it!” I agree with the clarion call to action: get on with it! You must act, you must choose, you must engage. That being true, your eyes must still be aware of the possibilities in life. They are multitudinous.
The shock and awe of employment
So it begins: the deep struggle to understand who I am and where I want to go in my life. Previously written narratives offer many examples to guide us forward. We are all familiar, I am sure, with Kafka’s Metamorphosis. (1) Gregor, the protagonist of the story, wakes up one morning only to find himself transformed into a giant cockroach: he is no longer a man. His boss is soon at his door demanding to know why he is not at work. Upon catching sight of him, he flees in terror. Gregor is thus forced to deal with his new reality. Due to his transformation into a bug, he hides in his room and is no longer able to provide an income. Financially, this deeply affects his family causing a collapse in their social standing. They are forced to take in boarders to help defray the costs of living. One day the tenants catch sight of him. They threaten to move out because of the filth and squalor associated with insects. This is just too much! Even Gregor’s formally supportive sister, Grete, decides that he is too changed to ever be a part of their family. She sadly concludes that it is better if he dies. He overhears her conversation with their parents. Broken-hearted, he returns to his room and, subsequently that evening, does die. This produces immense relief to the family and their life begins anew.
The serendipity at being given my body
I always feel such extraordinary luck when I find myself in an airport holding area waiting to get on a plane. This took many months of planning: the complicated ticket; the saving of the necessary funds to travel with; the requisite visas and sundry documentation — all to produce this state of readiness. It is a common experience, I am sure. You are going on your own Grand Tour. (1) All of your efforts have brought you to this moment. It is similar to going on stage. You are being held in the Green Room (2) prior to your performance. The astute observer is there long enough to be able to look at some of the other acts. There are the comedians giggling nervously; the impresarios, pretending to be people they are not; the rock and roll stars with their earpieces glued to their heads, listening to their newest releases and, the most unfortunate, the enormous souls pacing back and forth, liked caged circus animals. They should be restricted to oversized planes — sizes L and above. Then it begins — First Class is summoned. In most cases, this is an oxymoron: they are neither first nor seem to have any class. They bumble into line with confused, poorly-displayed wealth. Much like one major world leader who can’t tie a tie — it is either too short or too long. In Western culture, we call it new money: wealth without tradition and style.
The time traveler
You are stunned by the silence! I recently stayed at my friend’s estate in southern Poland outside of Krakow. (1) My first morning, I awoke at 5 AM facing a blazing morning sunshine and literally “bolted out of bed”: peace and quiet – no cars, no voices, no movement – shocking! For anyone who has lived anywhere, you could not help but be shaken by the stillness that pervaded everything – even the birds seemed to be “on pause.” I honestly felt naked and exposed – so frail, such another piece of humanity. I had to face my own thoughts without interference. They were, therefore, pure and unsullied. I returned to the “age-old question”: “What was the first thing I knew this morning upon opening my eyes?” The answer: “I am alive?” Its compatriot: “How do I know it is me?” “I have my memories from yesterday.” Now to get to work: I am in the process of giving myself options.
The morning person
We often hear talk of the morning person: the person who bounds out of bed at 6 o’clock, just as light cracks the dawn, and expresses a great elation at the world: “What a wonderful day.” Gandhi tells us that each night we die and each new day we are reborn.
The Art of Public Speaking
You may ask yourself. “How am I actually going to get my message out into the world?” This is a very interesting and clever question. First and foremost, you are going to have to be “just a touch brave.” To paraphrase Osho: “There are no heroes and no cowards: there is only action.” (1) Public speaking is not a natural process for most people. You will become nervous: your palms will perspire and your heart rate will increase. You must accept this as natural. There are many techniques that you can use to calm yourself. Mindfulness, (2) for example, is an excellent meditation technique. At the onset, it is imperative that you unflinchingly believe in “your message,” (I want to save the world, for example): this is paramount. Then you are able to proceed. There are several “tried and true” methodologies that will greatly assist you as you build your communication skills. Firstly your discourse must be rational: it must be predicated on a thesis or idea (A); it must hold an interesting and articulate main body (B+C+D) and possess a succinct and clever conclusion that ties back to the original thesis (A).
Do you have “color” in your life?
Most colorful, interesting people have many positive qualities; you’ll find they usually have the following in common: “They are curious; they love to discover new ideas, places, people, and interests. They are expressive; they’re not scared to speak their minds and express themselves well. They take initiative; they don’t sit around waiting for permission to do what they want to do, and they like to try new things. They are inventive; they think outside of the box and constantly come up with original ideas and new ways of doing things. They are confident; they are not scared to make mistakes and act like they know what they are doing, even when they don’t.” (1)
The power of solitude
I often talk about the Common Good and its significance. To me its portal is opened by any small act of kindness: if you hold a door for someone, allow another person to pay in front of you or just say hello to an elderly individual as you walk down a busy street, these are acts that contribute to the well being of society. All efforts are necessary, but are they enough? The answer is a resounding no: in the big scope of reality, they are inconsequential, but they are, obviously, a beginning. What major contribution to this phenomenon can a human being do to make a difference and change the world? I believe that the greatest thing you can do is to discover the mission that lies within you. Not some contrived familial or societal assignment, but what you are intrinsically obliged to do with your life – your personal adventure. This can be done at any age from seventeen to seventy. This appears to be a simplistic platitude. Everyone wants a life to be fun and filled with great escapades.
Miracles: do you believe in them?
We are suffering beings for the most part, aren’t we? At grade school and then at gymnasium, we imagine that we are caught in some hellish reality from which there is little perceptual escape: the pre-ordained plan must be pursued – study and tests. An education filled with endless pressure and psychological indignities is followed by even more stress at university. Nonetheless, all of my suffering will be mitigated by my disembarkation at “the port of life”: also known as (AKA) graduation — nirvana awaits. “The current generation now sees everything clearly, it marvels at the errors, it laughs at the folly of its ancestors, not seeing that this chronicle is all overscored by divine fire, that every letter of it cries out, that from everywhere the piercing finger is pointed at it, at this current generation; but the current generation laughs and presumptuously, proudly begins a series of new errors, at which their descendants will also laugh afterwards.” (1)