What they don’t tell you at “life school” is that, though we may all look unique and have different personalities and charming idiosyncrasies, we are all basically the same in our humanity: we suffer. We feel the pain of being alive, though “I am free to be me,” whatever that means. This realization comes upon the average person at twenty or so much like a hurricane. Its overwhelming power virtually knocks us down and emotionally cripples us. It is painfully common that this awareness coincides with the time when the majority are the most perplexed – the most confused. We are attending a university that we are, secretly, not totally enraptured with; taking a popular subject that, to us, appears verbose and overstated (international trade or business management, anyone?), and dating the boy or the girl who is just perfect for us, at least according to our parents and friends. Ostensibly life is great: then, “Why am I so unhappy, why do I feel so unfulfilled?” The answer, of course, is that you have not discovered your “true calling.” The pundit would respond, “So what: life is hard, get on with it!” I agree with the clarion call to action: get on with it! You must act, you must choose, you must engage. That being true, your eyes must still be aware of the possibilities in life. They are multitudinous.
The wise man realizes that if this is true, then to go forward, I must control the pain of existence. Pain here, of course, means psychological pain. I must become used to opprobrium and rejection if I am to discover or uncover my true gifts. In many of us, these are hidden under layers and layers of life. The midlife crisis (1) is usually a phenomenon, mostly in men, when all previous values are rejected – marriage, family, social norms – for a new more exciting lifestyle. Most people return to their conventional reality after a burst of ill-thought-out exuberance. If we are all the same then the ones who are the most at peace must have some secret, right? There is a truism that there are no hidden mysteries to life. There is simply work: work on an education; work on your personal and spiritual development and work on your career. If we keep pounding and pounding on this door – the door to who I really am – it will open. There are few successful people who tell you that, “My triumphs are just based on luck and laziness.” The brilliant artist who infects his life with the big five (alcohol, drugs, sex, money, and power), only to live a short and tortured, but creatively brilliant life, Basquiat (2) is an example, is not the model that most of us desire. We usually want peace, prosperity, and success in this life, and it can be achieved through directed and concerted effort. Reflective walks and silent meditation are noted tools to access the reality inside each of us. Educator and philosopher David A. Bednar (b. 1952) leaves us with a thought: Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals.
A closing thought: My motto is, “Never give up: keep striving!” By this I mean that, though we may suffer with existential angst and are afflicted with a dose of solipsism, we can find that elusive peace that every human being so desires. We learn in life that prosperity is not one thing: I am wealthy, for example. It is an assembly of many diverse items that include good health, positive relationships, personal liberty, etc. To say that humanity can never truly be happy is a misunderstanding of life, a misapplication of consciousness. It is true; however, that nothing can be achieved without study, effort and, most importantly, action.
To sum up: This week, we spoke about how I must be committed to the development of me. Nothing can be realized without effort. No goal, however humble or lofty can be attained without time spent in its exploration.
A philosophical question: Why are we so afraid of the little creatures around us: the cockroaches, the bugs, the worms and the spiders to name but a few? We are hundreds of times larger than they are. If I met a giant, (3) I think that I would be running away from him and not the other way round.
Just for fun – Nat King Cole
This week on your meditative stroll, please reflect how you will enhance the joy and minimize the pain in your own life.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: Great things await all of us. They cannot be understood nor acquired, unfortunately, without personal suffering and psychological agony. This is one of the many consequences of being a thinking human being. The secret is how to deaden this chronic pain without destroying your innate imagination and creativity.
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