Most human beings strive to achieve a modicum of happiness in their lives. This is an ongoing and difficult task. We seek the positive in others, for it makes life just a little better, a little more hopeful.
There are individuals, however, who look upon life as an endless struggle against unseen forces — forces that are seen as cruel, pernicious, and unforgiving. For them, reality is a curse from which only the end of existence seems to offer solace.
When faced with such an unhappy reality, the individual is presented with two choices. One can attempt to numb the inner struggle with alcohol, drugs, or destructive relationships. Or take it upon ourselves to recreate the world in the image of our own despair. The latter are what we call toxic people. They work tirelessly to figuratively darken every doorway and blacken all situations with an air of pessimism and gloom.
One may ask why this is so. There is no simple answer. Reality, for each of us, is a deeply private experience. Attempts to introduce positivity into a situation are often rejected outright. We may be told that we are naïve or “do not fully understand.” The best advice is often to limit contact with such individuals and avoid engaging in unsettling, defeating conversations.
What is truly exposed in these encounters is the risk posed to you. Within each of us, positive and negative forces are engaged in an ongoing struggle. Which one will prevail is a lifelong question. It is obvious that “the bitter old man” (1) did not choose hopefulness or growth.
Why do such people exist? A simple answer may be that they have neither asked nor answered the three fundamental questions of life: Why am I here? What is my mission? What will happen when I leave here — when I die? The absence of reflection fuels the inner chaos like gasoline to a fire. A person’s life becomes a punishing struggle against time. “I am a victim,” one says to oneself. “I am a coward, not a hero.”
Yet if we pause and read the biographies of spiritually enlightened individuals, we see that positivity and hopefulness are often conscious choices. Yes, the world contains tragedy and sadness, but it also contains joy and exuberance — both are real.
Self-improvement is not optional; it is a necessity. (2) It is the antidote to the natural poison that exists in the world. To retire from growth is a kind of death sentence. Why, when at the height of one’s mental capacity and expertise, would one choose to withdraw from life — to retire? The simple answer may be conditioning. As a society, we have little respect for the aged — and, to be fair, some of the elderly do not maintain themselves with appropriate dignity.
Consider the difference between a derelict machine and an antique automobile. The distinction lies in maintenance and care. The human being is no different. If you are not well-oiled, your joints will creak, and your spirit will decline.
A senior doctor in Calcutta once told me, “The body is like an old Mercedes-Benz. It will run for 500,000 kilometers — but you must change the oil, rotate the tires, and focus the headlights.” In this way, you remain a beacon of hope rather than a conveyor of bitterness.
I am always drawn to A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. (3) Scrooge, when confronted with his past, present, and possible future, realizes that life can be wonderful — but he must make it so. That is the gift we all receive: consciousness. It can become a reality through which we suffer horribly, or live fully and joyfully — the decision is ours.
Toxicity debases and kills. Happiness plants, nurtures, and makes life magnificent. Walt Whitman (4) leaves us with a thought: Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and the shadows will fall behind you.
A closing thought: We mustn’t be naively optimistic. Bad things do happen in the world. Money is lost, relationships can end, and people do die. That said, it is your intrinsic resilience that allows you to overcome life’s tragedy. Bravery is not innate. It is learned through effort and practice. Always do the right thing for you and for others. The results will speak for themselves.
To sum up: This week, we spoke about avoiding toxic people and being a model of hope
To be noted: From Marcus Aurelius — The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohNqsS0sh6w&list=RDohNqsS0sh6w&start_radio=1
For reflection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNg5FXt_DDM
This week, on your hopeful stroll, please ponder how to avoid toxicity in life.
Every day, look for something magical and beautiful.
Don’t be a wage slave — critical thinking is great!
Quote: Always make the right choice.
Footnotes:
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohNqsS0sh6w&list=RDohNqsS0sh6w&start_radio=1
2) https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/aristotle/