Do you ever just get “put off?” I do sometimes. Something sweeps over me — some hidden memory and the like — and there I am: in a state of funk. I remind myself, “It is another day of magnificent consciousness,” and yet I am still angry and I don’t know why? Perhaps it is my age (I’m 61); perhaps it is my sex (I’m a man); but perhaps it is because I know that my life is 100% my responsibility (and at this moment, I don’t want this burden): Ah yes, the answer. I want to delude myself. The way I have wasted my time is someone else’s fault. I don’t accept that responsibility. Today, I want to a Pharaoh of old, served by beautiful nymphs and attended to by obeisant servants: sorry guy, wrong epoch! There is, unfortunately, no excuse; you are on your own. Your time, to sound facile, is your time.
How you spend it, methodically or, conversely frivolously, is your business. It is easy to shield yourself from that realization and “just run and hide.” Sometimes the small child awakens in me and I just want to suckle on the maternal breast and feel that everything is peaceful, placid and safe. Sadly, it is up to the self to crawl, toddle, walk and then run. Life is so filled with serendipity that it is hard to realize that your luck is there as well if you can only grasp it. It quivers in front of you like some mirage. You see it and then it is nothing but an illusion. Why do so many good men accomplish nothing in their lives and the evil and debauched achieve great notoriety and a place in history? Realization number one: life is unfair and fickle. Realization number two: if you take a chance on yourself, you increase your “luck factor.” Realization number three: you must “absolutely do your best” (Always excellence: why not?) in everything you do: remember to respect yourself! None of this guarantees you anything, but it is a salve against the angst that you feel. In today’s peripatetic and overarching life, how do you have time to truly reflect on your being and the immortality of your essence? The answer is:”You make the time!” The queries that all thinking people have about the meaning of existence, the purpose of life itself and my personal mission are only accessible through prayer and meditation. “Each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. … It does not really matter what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from us. We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life — daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” (1)
Last year, I went to Shangri-la: it is a small country in Southeast Asia called Laos. The nation has the distinction of being the most bombed country in the world. (2) It was pulled into the Second Indo-China, or Vietnam, War (3), which had painful and disastrous consequences. One would think that this would have produced a vicious racism against all Americans and hence all Caucasians. Oddly, this is not the case; the Laotians are peaceful and welcoming. They do, however, have a curious approach to life from a Western perspective. Time is not a commodity that has any intrinsic value. Time is not precise, it is free and malleable. Someone could make an appointment for, say, two o’clock. This is perceived as an elastic estimate. The more Western-leaning individual will phone you and apologize for their tardiness, but most will not and simply assume that you understand. You quickly disappear into a new reality. France controlled this region for slightly under a century. Their empire, as with all 19th imperialistic realms, attempted to reproduce a Western-focused economy. French architecture and food are still omnipresent. The Gauls failed in this endeavor; the Laotians converted the bureaucracy to their way of life. Many French civil servants, in fact, decided to stay in Laos after their retirement. They got married and went “native” from the perspective of their compatriots. My story is somewhat more humble but still elucidates the zeitgeist of the society. My son has lived in Laos for several years; he bought me a suit at a reputable tailor. In Lao, the price was excessive, but not in Western countries. The tailor measured me and was diligent in this regard. We were told to return in four days for a final “fitting” before the garment was to be completed. We arrived on the designated day only to be confronted with a “Closed” sign. After vigorous knocking on the door, a young lady arrived only to inform us that the tailor had gone to Thailand for three days. What would you think? And, what would you have done? The great motivational speaker and sage philosopher, Earl Nightingale (4) leaves us with a thought: Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored (parts of this article were first published in March 2013).
A closing thought: I am reminded that life is making the impossible, possible. One of my young students asked me the other day, “When are you too old to change?” I had never thought of this question because like most of us, I feel three meters tall and 35 years old: “Old is always ten years older than I am,” to paraphrase Bernard Baruch. (5) That being said, there is some truth to the fact that if you want to spend your time well, and you have good health (exercise gentlemen, exercise), you can continue to contribute to society and be dynamic until you are dead. My friend is 88 and he still teaches an art history class once a week: not bad I would say!
To sum up: This week, we spoke about time. How should I respond to my gift of time? We discussed this question and came to some conclusions. I must spend my time well.
A small joke: The other day, a man who had become a pirate returned home and went into his local pub. His friends were happy to see him and asked all about his adventures. They couldn’t help to notice, however, that he had a wooden leg, a hook for an arm and an eye patch. “How did you get the wooden leg?” one inquired. “That was a vicious battle in the Spanish Main,” (6) he replied. It was taken off by a cannonball and the ship’s carpenter then made me this one: it is pretty good!” “How about the hook?” asked another. “That was a valiant sword fight,” he answered laconically. “And the eye patch?” a third queried. “That one was unfortunate,” he admitted. “I was tired and just wanted to rub my eyes.”
Just for fun: the rolling stones – time is on my side – live – enhanced sound
This week, please ponder how you spend your own time.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: All perception is self-contained and generated in your mind: this includes both the positive and negative images and experiences.
Footnotes:
3) Vietnam War
4) The Strangest Secret, Earl Nightingale 1950 (With Subtitles)