I recently read an article on gratitude that really gave me pause: Like all of us, I live a busy life. At times, it seems that all the tasks related to my existence cannot be fulfilled: school, work, family, and friends all press their demands. It is easy to forget that we live in a first-world country that provides personal safety, and spiritual and financial opportunities; I do get blinded by the “daily grind.” The article, Nine Essential Reasons to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude, (1) gives us reasons to feel the joy of being alive. It posits, “Do you want to live life to the fullest? Then one important thing you should do is cultivate an attitude of gratitude. What this means is that you should choose to view life in a positive way. Things might not happen your way, but you still choose to view them in a positive light. For instance, you speak positive words instead of negative ones.” What I enjoyed about the piece is that it is not naïve. It gives us a way to frame how we see life. “Far from being delusional or faith-based, having a positive outlook in difficult circumstances is not only an important predictor of resilience — how quickly people recover from adversity — but it is ‘the’ most important predictor of it. People who are resilient tend to be more positive and optimistic compared to less-resilient folks; they are better able to regulate their emotions, and they are able to maintain their optimism through the most trying circumstances.” This is what Dr. Dennis Charney, the dean of Mount Sinai School of Medicine, found when he examined approximately 750 Vietnam War veterans who were held as prisoners of war for six to eight years. Tortured and kept in solitary confinement, these 750 men were remarkably resilient. Unlike many fellow veterans, they did not develop depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after their release, even though they endured extreme stress. What was their secret? After extensive interviews and tests, Dr. Charney noted ten characteristics that set them apart. The top one was optimism. The second was altruism. Humor and having a meaning in life — or something to live for — were also important. (2) I think that one of the major ways to feel this optimism is to create a nurturing environment. One example: we leave birdseed on our balcony. Our avian friends arrive at around 5 o’clock each morning; their soft cooing and chirping beckons the newfound day. It is impossible to feel frustrated and angry when your morning begins this way. Their arrival is a bellwether of what is to come: another magnificent day.
An ongoing rage, according to the BBC, continues to be electronic cigarettes. The column, What is the etiquette with electronic cigarettes? investigates whether it is acceptable to “light up” an electronic cigarette in a public place, even though it is legal. Sunday Times Columnist Rod Liddle, for one, believes that these counterfeits are an embarrassment to the real world of smoking, “They’re effete and cowardly…They are a demonstration of craven addiction.” Those of us who have suffered the blight of nicotine addiction certainly embrace any attempt at terminating or mitigating the effects of this dependence. “Since the introduction of the smoking ban, it is broadly acknowledged that smoking is associated with break times rather than work time. A wider use of e-cigarettes could, therefore, also promote more workers taking excessive breaks if employers insist that they cannot be used at the desk. And yet if employers allow them to be used while at the workstation, they face the risk of complaints from other workers who may be upset, especially if they are trying to give up smoking without the use of e-cigs.” (3) Psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung (1875 -1961) leaves us with a thoughtful quote: Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism. (A part of this article was first published in September 2012.)
A closing thought: It seems, undoubtedly due to the end of the school year, that the questions are flowing like water. I was asked, “What would you consider your most important contribution to life?” I responded, “My sons: they have become decent, kind, and caring human beings – they are contributors, not detractors.” On a larger scale, however, there is an endless catalog of things that I am thankful for. I am sure it is the same for most: family, health, money, career, etc. Most importantly, I am immensely grateful that I am at peace with my place in the universe: how it unfolded in the past and how it will be uncovered in the future. As I tell my students: “It will all work out in the end. You will arrive at a place where were supposed to have been.”
To sum up: This week, we spoke about gratitude. It is important to be thankful for each and every day,
A truism: a man walks on two legs and his money runs on four.
Just for fun:STING Live 2017 Full Concert
This week on your peripatetic walk, please reflect on how we create our own optimism.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: I always feel and enjoy the sun: ninety-three million miles and still hot!
Footnotes:
1) 9 Essential Reasons to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude
2) The Benefits of Optimism Are Real
3) Using e-cigarettes in the office is becoming a burning issue