“The difference between men and boys is the price tag on their toys,” or so goes the adage. The saying is of unknown origin but some attribute it to the marketing of GI Joe action toys, (1) in the early 1960s or others to the businessman, Malcolm Forbes. (2) This intrinsic link between an adolescent boy and an adult man is unfortunate, in my estimation; for it suggests that as individuals we never truly have to become mature, but can always hide behind physical things to enhance our power and prestige.
The other day, I had a thought-provoking experience that I would like to share: Driving my scooter, I chanced upon a stop light and had to pause for a moment. I suddenly realized that beside me was a stunning Mercedes Benz, beside her was a deep-throated Porsche and, capping off the troika, a glistening Maserati. The four of us formed a line anticipating the green light.
Now across the street at the corner was a Buddhist monk in a state of prayer, waiting for alms. I glanced at my motoring compatriots: all appeared to be in a mode of jaw-clenching intensity, undoubtedly produced by profound stress and agitation. A question popped into my mind: “Who is happier – Socrates unhappy or a pig in mud?”
This is from J.S. Mill’s book Utilitarianism (1863), “It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, is of a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question. The other party to the comparison knows both sides.” (3)
What is being claimed here is that the monk is happier because he knows what happiness truly is and he does not need the trappings of civilization to achieve it. Is Mill correct or not? Young people are increasingly not attracted to a life based on money and material possessions. That said, this economic approach is lethal to our consumptive economy. They are a part of the Freeter phenomenon. (4)
My own experience with cars and hubris was reinforced on a windy and wet evening a lifetime ago. One year, one of my brothers made a lot of money and bought a beautiful Porsche. This one particular epoch, he was away on business and asked me to take his car home so she would be safe. The vehicle was manual, so you had three pedals: a clutch, a brake, and an accelerator.
On a hill, it was possible to hold the car steady by slightly depressing the one pedal: “riding the clutch,” as it was called. I pulled up to a stop light and beside me was a family of five in an older car; obviously, they did not have a lot of money. In my arrogance, I gave them the look of, “Don’t you wish that you were rich like me?”
Somehow during the delivery of that thought, I adjusted my seat and stalled the car; it literally “jumped into the air.” I quickly regained my composure, adjusted my seat, and restarted the car. In the process, I glanced across at the family only to see five sets of eyes pressed against the car windows. They were laughing uncontrollably and their eyes were filled with tears of moral rectitude. Chastened, I slinked away, a lesson aptly given and humbly accepted.
I have tried to never disrespect any human being since this particular day, regardless of their station in life. So there is a big difference between men and boys, between a “real man” and a blind, consumer-oriented robot. Laozi (5) leaves with a thought: Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. (parts of this essay were first published in 2015)
A closing thought: Machismo, youthful exuberance, and the adrenalin rush are all markers of maturation. Our educators, parents, and teachers must help us place our masculinity in its proper form and assist society to bloom constructively and inclusively.
To sum up: This week we spoke about hubris and male identity.
To be noted: From Winston Churchill — Never give in … never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force … never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
Just for fun:
For reflection:
This week, on your thoughtful walk, please reflect on your view of finite material objects.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Don’t be a wage slave – critical thinking is great!
Quote: You cannot run your life from the grave; you must control it while you are alive.
Footnotes:
1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.I._Joe
2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Forbes
3) https://iep.utm.edu/mill-eth/