This week, I had a lot of frustrations. To be fair, most were based on my inability to convey my thoughts adequately. I realize that whether you are sixteen or sixty, there are times that that old bugbear stumbles into your reality: solipsism. Now, is this a real phenomenon or not? All life experience, I believe, would suggest that, yes; it has a basis in fact. “But the young educated adults of the 90s — who were, of course, the children of the same impassioned infidelities and divorces Mr. Updike (1) wrote about so beautifully — got to watch all this brave new individualism and self-expression and sexual freedom deteriorate into the joyless and anomic self-indulgence of the Me Generation. Today’s sub-40s (2) have different horrors, prominent among which are anomie and solipsism and a peculiarly American loneliness: the prospect of dying without once having loved something more than yourself.” (3) Wow, difficult thoughts to read. But there is a resolution.
Consciousness is a two-pronged struggle, a two-front war, to be more dramatic. On the one hand, you have the self that you seek to understand and nurture into a value and a mission; on the other, you have the deep desire to explain yourself so that you can have real identity and comprehension with other human beings: those that “you” love and care for. It is a difficult and taxing brawl, not for the “faint of heart.” The streets and train stations in Western cities are littered with those who have given up the fight, those who have resigned themselves to the fact that this wrestle with life, this battle for existence, is arduous and long with no preset results: no fate determined at birth. The vast majority of “the broken” are addicted to some form of addition, again self-induced. (4) It is my life and my reality. But, it is worth the journey. This uniqueness that I have been gifted by the cosmos is but one more addition to the great corpus of humanity. I must do something with it.
The expression “gird up your loins” is an interesting one. “Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.” It is originally thought to be from the Book of Job in the Hebrew bible, the Tanakh. (5) The meaning is essentially to “prepare yourself for the vagaries in the adventure of life.” Last week, we spoke about the DBA Method, selecting one choice, acting and stick-to-itiveness. This week, I would like to comment on what to do in a time of adversity or difficult change. It is relatively simple to succeed when all conditions are pleasant and beneficial: you have a good job, your boss is decent and the money is sufficient. It is much harder to “stay the course” towards your mission or meaning when difficulty or trauma have become your bedfellows. It is easy to seethe with anger, at yourself or others, when you feel you have been treated unfairly. “How could I let this happen?” or “How could someone do this to me?” are common questions of the human experience. Behind every bedraggled beggar is usually an excuse for failure. “I am here because… .” Sadly, there is no exoneration from an incomplete life. It is important to note that, because it is your life, it is only you judging its successes or failures. How do I find a method of relief when I feel the most fragile, the most lost and naked? In a word — prayer, in whatever form that takes: invocation, incantation, meditation or a simple walk in communion with nature. From the great Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh (b.1926) we read, “You carry Mother Earth within you. She is not outside of you. Mother Earth is not just your environment. In that insight of inter-being, it is possible to have real communication with the Earth, which is the highest form of prayer.” On the more practical side, you must find a way to clear your mind so that you can find a solution to your present dilemma. One way, espoused by Matthiew Ricard (b.1946) is, to paraphrase, “Image your emotions as if they were in a lake: let us call it the Lake of Emotions. Normally, when we are upset our frustrations cover the lake with a sheen or fog and make it impossible to see the clarity of the water. Create a fantastic boat floating freely on the surface. Now into this vessel place all your vehemence, your ardor. You must never suppress your frustrations. They must simply be placed in context. You are now clear-headed to see what you must do, but your emotions, whatever they are, fear, jealousy, anger, frustration or any other, are still with you. They, however, no longer control you: you can think clearly and, most importantly, critically, about your next step.” This is a very basic technique, but it works. I have used it quite successfully, I might add. I see my world through my five senses. The six sense, our direct communion with God or the cosmos, can only be achieved in a state of sobriety and clarity. The great Modernist architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886-1969) leaves us with a thought: Education must lead us from the irresponsible opinion to true, responsible judgment. It must lead us from chance and arbitrariness to rational clarity and intellectual order. Therefore, let us guide our students over the road of discipline from materials, through function, to creative work.
A closing thought: It quickly becomes apparent to any thinking being that life is fraught with pain and frustration. These emotions are concomitant with those of passion, joy and pleasure. It is up to each individual to determine which will pilot the liner to its final magnificent destination.
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To sum up: This week, we spoke about what or who gets in the way of our personal success. “You are your own worst enemy,” is the popular idiom. This is a problem common to all men. If we do not want to become wage slaves, a way must be found to alleviate these frustrations. Some suggestions were proffered.
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A small (sardonic) joke: Have you ever been overwhelmed with bureaucracy? I have. This is from the misspelling of my name on my passport to the disagreement with a police officer if that is really a picture of me on my driver’s license. The best occurred recently, however. My name is Leon. To this end, I do not have a stamp that says L-E-O-N. Last week, I was prevented from opening a bank account until I got one made and duly presented. I am not making this up: great fun! Kafka (1883-1924) would be proud.
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This week, please remember your own epiphany moment, through prayer, when you got your “life back on track.”
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Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: The greatest gift in life is when you realize that you are in control of your life, though it is like a cork bobbing in the middle of a violent typhoon.
Footnotes:
2) Millennials: The Me Me Me Generation
3) David Foster Wallace, Influential Writer, Dies at 46
4) Twins of the Streets: Homelessness and Addiction
5) Book of Job
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