The other day, as I was walking along the street, I got to think about relationships. And then I began to study people, and I had a look at the relationships that were presented around me.
Some people were holding hands, other people were walking briskly beside what looked to be their husband or wife, etc. And I said to myself, you know, isn’t the truth what Carl Jung has said?
He tells us that at the very beginning of life, we have essentially pockets of consciousness. So maybe when we’re two or three years old, islands, if you will, of memory, we remember certain events, certain things that have occurred.
And then slowly we wake up. Now, people agree and somewhat disagree. Around 22 or so, we are awake.
Now, herein comes the rub, I guess, to a certain extent, if we’re not a thoughtful human being. I don’t think any of my conversation here has any value, really. So relationships are complex.
Here you are, you eventually mature, you meet someone, you fall deeply in love, you’re lying there at three in the morning and you wake up, you open your eyes and the person beside you, they also wake up at that similar moment.
And my gosh, it’s love. It truly is, right? But then, two years later or so, you’re separated or broken up or divorced.
And why? Why is the question always? Well, I think at the very beginning, relationships can essentially be broken into four categories.
We have the relationship of the other, I guess we could say, these are people that we just see on the street, as I was saying earlier, or these are clerks in a shop, or if we travel quite a bit, these are the security guards or the policemen that
staff the airports and all things along this nature. And then we have relationships of utility. These would be relationships of people that are much closer to us. Perhaps they work in the office.
We see them in the office. And so we have a bit of an intimate relationship, distant but intimate. Then we step into the relationships of friendship.
Now, of course, we could have a relationship of utility in the office becoming a relationship of friendship. And this is the ideal. And these are, of course, our clients as well.
And then finally, we have the relationship of love, of pure love. Now, that can be an intimate relationship, a sexual relationship, or an emotional one of deep friendship. Now, it is at this point, however, that I think we trick ourselves.
As I was suggesting earlier, we’re told that the ultimate relationship is the soulmate, one that I can truly bond with. And romantically, for a period of time, you perhaps have had that experience. You believe it to be so.
Now, I teach a lot of people, and a lot of young people, really enjoy love songs, because love songs fill you with this romantic view of the world, this artificial view of the world.
And I think there’s some danger associated with this, because I try to tell my young charges, be careful, because you might be disappointed.
Because inevitably, once that relationship fails, and God willing, it won’t, but let’s say it does, then you are faced with the prospect that you realize that ultimately I am alone, truly alone.
And this is not a negative statement, it’s just the truth. I’m alone. I can reach out, I can touch you, I can feel the warmth of your body, but I am isolated inside my own mind.
And it’s really at this point up to me if I’m going to develop a relationship with other people. And it is hard work. There is no question at all.
And those could be relationships with people as close as your children. They are still independent beings without any question at all.
And I think the great mistake that’s made in life is that we don’t have a deep respect ultimately for people that we don’t understand. So the other, of course, is someone in an artificial environment, perhaps an army.
I’m in my army and he or she is in their army. And now we’re going to have conflict. Why?
Because we’ve been told essentially that therein lies the other and they’re dangerous. But they are ultimately just like you and me, aren’t they? And certainly cultures can be said to be different.
We come from different cultures, but as individuals, whether I’m pink, blue, black, orange, whatever my skin tone, when I cut my arm, the blood is red, which suggests that all human beings are exactly the same.
But we have to work on building relationships with, as I was saying, the other. And that’s not easy to do, because firstly, what’s called for is a deep amount of respect.
We really have to respect the other as an individual, not their culture, because some cultures obviously are quite strange. There is no question, right? Strange for my culture, let’s say, for sure.
But as individuals, what do we want? We essentially, firstly, we want to be in love, which means we want to be in love with ourself. We want to have a loving family.
We want to have some self-respect, and we want to respect others, and ultimately, we want to leave a legacy that can be shared with our society and our descendants, for sure.
So, this concept of the other, I find so very fascinating, because every human being has worth, but I’m increasingly convinced at this 22 years of age or so, that if you don’t begin to think, if you don’t learn how to learn, then you’re not a
thoughtful person and you just follow along. thoughtful person and you just follow along.
Now, the Internet and AI, exceptionally good at tricking people. Exceptionally good. I had a class the other day, and we got talking about, we got questioning whether we live in a violent world.
And of course, the answer is yes. What are you talking about? Of course, it’s violent.
But how do you know? Well, what do you mean? Well, how do you know it’s a violent world?
Well, I watched the news. Exactly. So maybe the news, created by Randolph Hertz and Joseph Pulitzer at the end of the 19th century, was actually a trick.
We’re being tricked into believing that the world is a much more violent and a much more dangerous place.
And if you really take this to the extreme, you start to get a little bit afraid because you think, boy, if I’m afraid and somebody says we need weapons, oh, absolutely, we need weapons to defend ourselves, but just maybe there is no threat in real
terms. Maybe not, but we’re being told there is, and if I’m not a thoughtful person, I’m going to vote for that party that’s going to buy more weapons, and this is happening worldwide at the moment.
You ask yourself, why can’t sane people really begin to rule? Well, I think it’s going to require all of us over time to truly stand up and say, wait a moment, just maybe the other is not as bad as we perceive.
Certainly, cultures can seem threatening. There is no question when it comes to cultures that have stronger religions perhaps than ours or they dislike women in a certain sense of the word or whatever it is, right?
But people are just people without any question at all.
And I really think if we begin to really appreciate on a daily basis that I am alive and I’m alone, and I have a lot of work to do to try and nurture relationships with people, then life becomes in a certain sense very exciting, doesn’t it?
Because, gosh, our job is to help the common good grow, is it not? I mean, why am I going to school?
I’m going to school to learn how to learn, because these are very dynamic and changing times, and I’m going to make the world a more peaceful place by changing myself, and making me a more thoughtful and kinder person, more loving person, so
ultimately I can follow along in Christ’s dictum to turn the other cheek and bring love into the world, because we want love, and because I say to you, I love you, in any relationship, everyone understands. I love you like a friend, I love you like a
lover, a boyfriend, a girlfriend. I say I hate you, you’re confused. How do you hate me? You don’t like the way I look, the way I act.
Very confusing for most people. So remember those categories, those areas of friendship, perhaps you have others you can add on to it.
I recently was just finished a book by Carl Jung, I’ll leave you with this thought, called The Stages of Life, and he uses the metaphor of a day from sunrise to sunset to describe the average person’s life.
At the beginning, especially if it were to be a hot day, you hear the birds are twittering, and the sun is quite bright, you can feel the wind, the magnificent day begins, and then you have midday, and the average person is around 40 at that point,
and then begins the second half of life. Now, as an aside, many people curiously view the second half of life as a negative, if you will. They see it as decline, decline in body, a mental decline, etc. Not Dr.
Young. He sees it as a sentient, because the second half of life ends in a magnificent sunset, filled with colors that you can’t even imagine, far brighter, as he says in his book, far brighter than the colors at the beginning of the day.
Makes one think, doesn’t it?
So life is not descendant, it’s effectively ascendant, and we can build with work positive relationships, and we can push our children to increasingly become more and more thoughtful, and not get tricked by this aspect of anger and violence.
You have a group of people, and you ask them, is it a violent society? They will say, yes. And this is a direct result of yellow journalism created by Joseph Pulitzer and Randolph Hearst to sell newspapers.
But it just might not be true. Well, it isn’t true, is it? We’re loving, caring people, for sure.
So think of relationships. Think of your relationships with your family and friends. And you know what they say.
You know what they say. Critical thinking is everything, especially if we’re going to build loving relationships. And critical thinking is great, truly great.
You take care. God bless. Bye bye.