Why do we travel? That’s always an interesting question. I was reading the other day that due to the advent of the Internet and also perhaps the age of comparison, we have more and more difficulty as young people to actually initiate a conversation.
Now, think to yourself, if you can’t start a conversation, you can’t possibly advance in business, in romance, and ultimately in life.
So, the last summer, when we walked the Camino, I thought it was an interesting time because I’m a naturally shy man.
But when you’re virtually sleeping with other people of the opposite sex as well as your own, you are forced to make an attempt to be polite and start a conversation.
Now, when we first arrived in St. Jean at the very beginning of the journey, we stayed in obviously a hostel, and this was the first time, gosh, in many, many years that I haven’t stayed in a private hotel room whenever I’ve traveled.
And it was a little bit amusing because we stayed with four Japanese women. And I think no one had informed them. And conversely, no one had told us.
So we were kind of told you’re staying with other people and they’re Japanese. But nobody really reinforced this point. So there I am, brushing my teeth, and this one Japanese woman, young woman, came out of the shower.
Now obviously she had most of her clothes on, but it was still a shock for her and for me.
And I later, I reminded myself that I better get used to a lot of different people if I’m going to really experience the Camino properly, the hostel system properly. And of course I did, and so did David. We got used to people.
And you know, the wonderful part about humanity, for the most part, is that people are kind, they are polite, and they are of course clean, which is another wonderful phenomenon. Now some people not, of course.
Some people, surprisingly, even in the modern era, are antisocial. But we’ve got to learn to initiate a conversation. So how do we start a conversation?
Well, traditionally, we’re always told that small talk is big talk. Now, why is small talk important?
Well, if you think of the English language, when I was growing up, we were always told that we had to learn, if you will, BBC English, formal British English with the correct accent. This was considered an instant way to segue into an upper class.
When you heard that accent, you assumed that person was educated. And in your own kind of mystical way, you thought, perhaps, Cambridge or Oxford or something along this nature. But today, it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter whether you speak Chinese English or Canadian English or American English or French English and whatever. It doesn’t matter about your English, your grammar, your pronunciation. What matters is your personal brand, your style.
Are you polite? Are you different towards people, etc.? And people can pick up on this immediately, virtually.
So I always remind myself because you can easily make an error when it comes to these basic rules. But if you don’t know someone, when you begin a conversation, you perhaps should start off in a more formal sense.
Discuss the weather, sports, and movement. Could be traffic, could be cars, gosh, could be a metro system.
And then slowly but surely, if you’re more and more comfortable, then you can launch into something more private, more on the so-called informal side.
Relationships and people will begin to say, my wife or my children, and you could pick up on those tags, if you will. And you could then discuss perhaps your own family.
And then depending on the conversation, depending where you are, is it a tourist venue? You can perhaps enter into religious symbolism, the temples in the area. You know, are you a practicing Buddhist, Daoist, Christian?
And then of course, usually at that point, that’s it. Now people do suggest, if you get to meet people on an ongoing basis, you can discuss perhaps politics. And then the thing that you must keep away from is a discussion of money.
Unless it’s in a global sense, if you will. But money is always very dangerous, because why are you discussing money? Like, why does it matter?
Because I have money, so why must I share this idea with you? So if you keep to this pattern, I think you will find that you can begin a conversation. And then where can I find people?
Well, if you’re traveling and you stay perhaps in a hostel, or you couch surf, or you perhaps go to a homestay, then usually the host is your initial conversation. And they’re interested in you because you’re different.
I stayed in some homestays in India and the people were affluent. They were wealthy and they certainly didn’t need the money. They were interested in me.
And you become a little bit exotic in that sense. You’re able to talk to people, right?
So, how do you begin a conversation if you’re just sitting there, perhaps in a restaurant or a coffee shop? How’s your day going thus far, with a bit of a smile?
You know, you can perhaps comment on a person’s bag if it’s really unique, but you keep away from the body.
If they’re wearing a beautiful shirt or a wonderful dress, do not say, my gosh, that’s a beautiful dress, because obviously you’re looking at a person’s body, a little bit dangerous.
Keep to the haircut, the earrings, glasses, if you will, but even that’s a little personal. Be careful. You could go on something general.
How do you spend your weekends? Now, if you’re sitting down, perhaps, in an airport, you could comment on the architecture in an airport.
Perhaps in a restaurant again, this place has a nice atmosphere, perhaps, you know, things along this nature, but usually feel comfortable is the most important, and be open. Try to keep your hands away from your body, more outstretched in some way.
And you can just begin with general questions, but most assuredly, try to keep to the neutral side, the weather, sports, and traffic. Little story, a long time ago, I got on an airplane.
I think I was the last person to get on a very, very long flight, flying between, I think, Amsterdam and Vancouver, perhaps. And I sat beside this very large woman. And I’ve told this story before, I’m sure.
And the very large woman, said to me, How are you? And I, of course, responded, I’m fine. How are you?
And she said, Well, I’m great as soon as I feed this. And she touched her stomach with both hands. And my gosh, the devil ran up and down my spine.
And I finally asked, So when are you going to have your baby? And she snapped, of course, ignorant me. She wasn’t pregnant at all.
And she became very angry, I’m not pregnant. And I just went on. She fell asleep on me, eventually a very long flight, pushed me out into the aisle, and people kept bumping into my head.
And it was a terrible flight. Never forgot it. And since this time, I’ve been much more cautious when people say things, because perhaps they just want you to say neutral answers.
Well, me too, whatever it is. So how are you today is a very common one. And the answer always is, I’m fine.
You never say, oh, I’m feeling sick today, or I’m angry today, or I’m lost today. And I honestly think, though, the reason we do travel is to get over those errors. And I’ve certainly made many along the way.
You know, hitchhiking across Canada, at one point when I was 19, I was picked up by my imagination of every bizarre, evil person. And yet, it all in the end was fine, wasn’t it?
I’m here today, I’m healthy, I’m happy, and those are kinds of experiences that I can tell my children and grandchildren about to try to protect them, but they will have their own. So, we’re going to travel, of course, for experience.
It’s going to be the most important thing of all. And I think the big thing behind all of this is we have five principle senses, but we also have a sixth sense. And I do think it is so necessary that we trust our sixth sense, right?
So, if you meet someone and they’re perhaps good-looking and they seem charming, but somehow your sixth sense is saying to you, Gosh, there’s something wrong here. Trust your sixth sense.
And I’ve traveled in some very strange places, and I’ve had no problems because I trust me. Now people say, you could be wrong. Maybe the first impression is wrong, but I’m of the belief it’s not.
And I think if it is and you’ve made a mistake, bad luck. Always believe in your sixth sense, because ultimately, who is going to be my teacher in all of this aspect called my life? Well, of course, I am.
And I have to say to myself, I’m capable of making mistakes, aren’t I? For sure. And then when I’ve made a mistake, then I have to go and apologize, perhaps at some later date.
But for the most part, I think this is biological. We should learn to trust ourselves. And I think if we do increasingly, then we can sit and go and enjoy people and go couch surfing and all of these various things, various ways to travel.
You know, I was speaking today to some people and I asked them about couch surfing and they told me, couch surfing is for young people. Well, I think to myself, maybe couch surfing is a little uncomfortable.
I can see not wanting to sleep on someone’s couch, but I think the homestays, where they actually give you a bedroom in their home, I think that’s a wonderful way personally to meet people all over the world, really, because people usually don’t need
the income from the homestay. What they need is conversation. What we don’t realize is that a lot of people don’t travel. They don’t live abroad.
They certainly don’t come from Asia, for the most part, right? They’re really isolated in their own worlds, and this is true whether they live in India or in Europe or in North America, and you’re someone special to them. So keep traveling.
Isn’t that the point, right? But just protect yourself. Enjoy your travel.
That’s why we travel. And you know what they say. You know what they say.
Critical thinking is necessary, especially if we’re going to protect ourselves. During our many interesting treks around the world and critical thinking is great. Truly great.
You take care. God bless. Bye-bye.