Whenever I have a new class of students, I always ask, what’s your goal in life? And many people will say, I just want to be happy. This is my goal. I just want to be happy. And I ask, does that mean you wanna be happy every day?
And of course, the response is, yes. Of course. For sure. I want to be happy all the time. But a quick study of human beings, of human nature, gosh, the walk down any street looking at the eyes of individuals, a drive in a car anywhere, studying people along the way, and you soon realize that most people are not happy at all.
So the point of life probably is that we have a great deal of unhappiness and brief moments of that elusive happiness that people claim that they want. So life is not mostly happy, it is in fact mostly unhappy, and many people say as you age, of course, the body also becomes a part of the equation. You have more bumps and bruises. Gosh, you could have some chronic conditions. People get a heart attack.
It just goes on, doesn’t it? So what are we to do about this human condition, so to speak? How are we going to live a fulfilling life if we’re burdened by this concept along the way? Well, my solution, something I’ve given a great deal of thought to, is that life is an enormous journey. It’s actually not about happiness.
It’s about the journey. So happiness perhaps fills in the bits and pieces of life along the way, but it’s fleeting. It doesn’t come often. I really think we should aspire more for a concept entitled contentment. I want to feel as if my efforts actually have some value along the way in the moment.
So if I’m gonna grasp these bits and pieces of joy, what am I gonna do? Well, I think, firstly, you must realize that when you wake up in the morning, you are an independent agent. You can decide whether it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. And I was watching a program the other day on prisons and prisoners and how they got through their twenty or thirty years of incarceration. Well, one of the ways that people get through their time is by finding a way that they can document to themselves each and every day.
So when I wake up in the morning, I can decide whether it’s going to be a good day or a bad day regardless of my circumstance. Now some days, of course, when I wake up, I realize it’s not going to be a good day. I’ve forgotten to do my homework, let’s say, or I’ve had bad dreams, or I feel uncomfortable, I’m a little bit sick physically, whatever it is. It’s not going to be a good day. But I accept that, and I realize that the power to change that radically into a good day is within me.
But I’ve decided, no. Today, I’m going to have a bad day, and I do. It’s a bad day. I go through it. I deal with it.
I try to get a good night’s sleep, and usually, at least in my case, the next day is a better day. Now, of course, I am not talking about people with mental illness at all because that’s a totally different issue, isn’t it? If you have something wrong with the dopamine in your brain, this has to be dealt with. But most psychologists tell us that the vast majority of you and me, human beings, are not clinically depressed. We maybe get sad.
We maybe get upset. And this means that the psychological industry, which it is, must be regarded with a great deal of caution. So when you see a psychiatrist or a psychologist, psychiatrist, let’s say, and they give you drugs, What are those drugs? And what are they doing to your mind? Truly, what are they doing?
Because, ultimately, no amount of drugs, alcohol, bad relationships will make you happy. For sure not. They anesthetize you for a limited period of time. I mean, it’s quite curious, isn’t it? That in many countries now, you can buy marijuana, for instance, legally.
Canada, for sure. And you often wonder why. Well, obviously, because the population is in a great deal of sadness, experiences a great deal of sadness. So, of course, if you’re anesthetized, if you’re a little bit stoned, you undoubtedly feel better. But you’re not dealing with the problem, are you?
Whatever the problem may be, you’re not really dealing with it. So when you feel a great deal of emotion, when you’re having a good day, what do you do? Well, you should savor the moment. Of course. Wow.
I’m so lucky to feel pretty good today. I’m having a moment of euphoria. And then do something creative. Write it down. Write a song.
Write a poem. Doesn’t matter. Share your joy with others. Why not? Maybe you’re gonna help your fellow man.
Right? Gosh. We should be grateful, shouldn’t we, that I was allowed to awaken today and to feel pretty good. I was allowed to feel good. When we’re sharing this joy, when we’re interacting with others, it makes other people feel positive, doesn’t it?
And then be a good listener. Of course, if somebody is really sad, listen to them. But if you are dealing with the negative emotions, you’re dealing with a frustration, you know, that’s cropped up, what are you gonna do? Well, experience it. Many people say we should just accept this is the way I feel.
In the pit of my stomach, I’m feeling rather sick, really rather upset. And then if I’m really distressed, I can, of course, focus somewhat on my breathing. I can learn to breathe in, breathe out, calm myself down. And some people also say the creative side, and this is true for Russian literature, isn’t it? In the nineteenth century, if I was really distraught, I can put it into a poem, perhaps a short story, a novel, and ultimately practice self compassion.
Right? Realize that no amount of drugs or alcohol or bad relationships, etcetera, is really going to help you on your long term path of existence. Not at all. Right? So I think it’s very important to realize that not every day is going to be a good day, but life is a joyous experience for sure.
Right? Now just to digress for a moment, the other day I saw an individual who was screaming and hollering at some other individual, just losing their temper. And you realize that if you really want to make yourself ill, express your emotions in that way, get angry. Some people even get physical. And I think because we are not naturally violent or angry people, this cannot assist you in your growth pattern at all.
And if you look at, let’s say, for instance, the soldiers, in all wars, they’ve always suffered from a form of PTSD, post traumatic syndrome. Right? They were traumatized. And many, for instance, in The United States, many veterans either end up to be homeless or in prison, or they suffer endless amounts of pain until the very last day. There’s an interesting phenomenon called suicide by the police in The United States, for instance, which means that you’re stressed, really upset, nobody really understands what’s going on in your mind, and you’ve perhaps taken drugs, legal drugs from the psychiatrist in the military.
Now you’re out. You continue these drugs, alcohol as well, and it’s time to go. But you realize that if you kill yourself, your parents or your family is going to get nothing from your military life insurance. So what do you do? You get in your car, probably drunk and stoned, raced on the road, you get stopped by the police, and you jump out of your car with your pistol, and, of course, the police freak out, and they scream at you, drop that pistol right now, and you point it at the police, and, of course, they shoot you.
Stone dead, as we say, 14 bullets. Right? And then you die a hero because you were stressed out. Right? You actually couldn’t take the trauma of war, etcetera.
Terrible way to die when you think of it. Right? Just terrible. And all this has to be, I think, in two senses. One is that you shouldn’t be a soldier ever, you know, ever, if you could possibly avoid it because killing is not natural.
And secondly, you should realize that those emotions are yours or your own, and you can do this as an experiment. Close your eyes and imagine if you were not here. If you were not here, all the pain and all the frustration that you may be experiencing will be gone. So, obviously, I am in control of my life. And, yes, there will always be external circumstances that exist.
Of course, we are frail human beings, but I can be in control. I really can. So when I wake up in the morning, I can make my bed, I can say my prayers, I can write in my notebook, and I can be grateful for another day of consciousness. This means then that I can dictate the day that I want, and it could be a bad day, and it could be a good day, but ultimately, it’s up to me. Right?
And so when I’m asked, what do I want out of my piece of life? I wanna say I want an adventure. I want to accomplish something. Why am I here? What’s my mission?
Gosh. I wanna find what that is. And what happens when I leave here? I’m going to die a good death because I’ve lived a good life. And you know what they say.
You know what they say. Critical thinking is necessary, especially when you have to deal with your emotions to find a way that you live a fulfilling life, and critical thinking is great, truly great. You take care. God bless. Bye bye.