I was walking along the street the other day, and it was quite a gray day. It was wet. It just rained and it was miserable to put it mildly. And I was passing quite a number of people and, gosh, they looked sad, really sad. The mood was somber, I guess, one could say.
And it got me to thinking, how do we overcome sadness? As an individual, what am I to do? First and foremostly, sadness is the gift. If I could put it this way, sadness is the gift that I only can give myself. So if I want to overcome sadness, the very first thing I think I must do is acknowledge that I control my emotions.
And, you know, this is really something hard today because we do live in an external world. The Internet is pumping information. Some sources say a hundred thousand bits of information stream through my phone, for instance, every day. A hundred thousand. Now think about this.
Amazing. Most of it wrong. Most of it evil. Most of it angry. War, pestilence.
Gosh. You name it. So that comes into my phone, but I then must realize that I opt to take it into my psyche or not. So I decide. But that said, let’s say I do decide that it is a sad day, and I want to change it.
What am I to do? Well, there is an exercise actually called the four by four. If you breathe in for four seconds, one, two, three, four, then you hold that breath for four seconds, One, two, three, four. And then you breathe it out for four seconds. One, two, three, four.
Hold that for four seconds. One, two, three, four. And then start it again another three times, four times four, you will find that you will begin to actually feel better because you have stimulated the endorphins in your brain. That adrenaline is being pumped through your system, and you will begin to feel somewhat light headed and better. And that mood will stay with you for maybe fifteen or twenty minutes.
And then, of course, the mind will again pull you back to the state you were at the beginning. A state that you’ve given yourself of sadness. So with that small exercise, you can see, gosh, I can get out of this. Now, it’s important to identify here that we have to preclude mental illness. If you are mentally ill, obviously, this is not going to work.
You do have to see a doctor, clinician, for sure. No question at all. But according to people such as doctor Jordan Peterson, he tells us that most people are not clinically depressed. We perhaps are societally depressed or emotionally depressed, but we’re not clinically, which supposedly has a distinction. So I acknowledge that I’m in control of my emotions and I’m feeling sad.
And now I have to extract myself from this emotion. I have to do something if I’m going to get out of this mess. So what am I going to do? Well, many people say that we should go to a park or a place that I can be silent for a moment. Get some stillness, if you will.
Gain a moment of peace. Sit on a bench, close my eyes, focus down. Start to realize that the pain that I’m suffering, let’s say it’s an emotional breakup or a job loss or a stock market collapse, that whatever it is, somehow, as long as I live and as long as I survive, it will pass. It will go away. There will be a better day eventually if I so desire.
So in that context, I can realize that I am a mortal being, but I’m a being that exists in time. Another profound exercise, I believe, is to take your shoes and socks off. Put your feet on the grass. Walk around. This will have the tendency to connect you to nature.
It’ll ground you. It’s amazing. You’ll start to feel better. So you’ve put it in perspective. You’ve bonded with nature and then get to a gym or go to a park out of town and do some strenuous walking.
Spend some time preferably alone because at this point, many people say we should talk to friends. I don’t agree somehow because I think life is a solitary experience. And, yes, we need family. Yes, we need friends. I have friends for sure.
But, ultimately, who is my best friend? That has to be myself. And I must learn to talk to myself first. Firstly, I must make an attempt to solve this great mess, this great sadness that is in my brain. I must make an attempt to solve it.
So I’ve come to realize I’m in control of my emotions. I’ve made an attempt to ground myself with meditation. Now I’m going to go to a gym, get to a park. I’m gonna have a chat with myself. I really am.
And then coming back from this, if at all possible, I’m gonna flip open my notebook, and I’m gonna write down my thoughts. And remember, this is not a journal, and this is not a diary. This is my book of spontaneous ideas or thoughts from Emerson supposedly. Right? Don’t show this to anyone and express what you want to express in this book.
Keep it with you like your close friend. Right? Then ultimately, I would say, get to a mosque, a temple, a church, and talk to the universe. Talk to God. Ask for forgiveness if you need forgiveness.
Ask for help if you need help, and then acknowledge your greatness, your beauty. There’s no one like you. There never has been, and there never will be. Never. But it’s up to you.
You gotta man up or woman up, whatever that means. You gotta look after yourself emotionally. Don’t be a victim. Gosh. The world is full of victims, and it’s getting old.
It’s getting boring. Because in the end, if you don’t look after yourself, your psychological well-being, your philosophical well-being, then the society will look after it for you. And as we know, the society really doesn’t care. It eats you up and it spits you out. And all you have to do is look at all the people throughout history that have lived externally.
They’ve lived in the world, and look at the things that have happened to them. All their power, all their wealth, all their fame stripped away, And once they were naked, so to speak, figuratively, there was nothing left, and they decided to usually kill themselves or they killed themselves through alcohol, drugs, bad relationships, whatever it is. They did not lead productive lives, but you can if you’re willing to take a chance on you and find a way that you can overcome and be in control of your sadness. And you know what they say. You know what they say.
Critical thinking is necessary, especially if you’re gonna overcome the sadness that we all experience in life for sure. And critical thinking is great, truly great. It’ll help us get out of any dilemma that we experience. You take care. God bless. Bye bye.