It is a great dilemma which appears when you are least prepared: am I a body or am I a being? And the corollary: if I am alive, how do I look in the physical world? To me, this became a part of my reality when I was around twelve years old. I had the first “slow dance” of my life with Donna Redding. To this day, I remember everything about the dance: I remember the scent of her perfume, I remember the song — Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell, and I remember her touch. She was the first girl that I had ever held, other than my mother. Everything seemed to “pop and sparkle.” Something was wrong, or something was right: I wasn’t sure which sensation was correct. I went home and looked in the mirror: for the first time I was a corporeal being – terrifying – now what? Everything seemed to take on surreal overtones. Where should I sit in the hierarchy of bodies? Was I handsome, beautiful, dashing – kind of a Robin Hood like character – or did I end up at the other end – pedestrian, mundane or, worst of all, ordinary? A quick analysis gave me the answer: God was having a bad day when he created me! I recall the wave of revulsion and disgust that overwhelmed me. Why me: why did I have this physique – why me? This feeling of dissatisfaction stayed with me for quite a number of years. It was expunged by the affections of a young woman who told me I was “really good looking.” I realized in that instant that if I could fool one person, I could fool thousands. The attraction I expressed began from within. The other person’s perception was their own, only their own. I was free to be me, whatever that meant.
I adopted the belief that I would live my life in excellence, as defined by me. I would carry myself with my standard of the superlative. Now, this state is difficult even to begin to achieve. The path is twisted and circuitous: I have just now begun the beginning.
In our modern society, we are walking away from virtually any style at all — why I wonder? I relate it to a subconscious loathing of the rigidity of previous eras. This would be especially true of the Victorian Period. “Victorian morality relates to the ethical views of people living during the reign of Queen Victoria (1837–1901), and the moral climate of the United Kingdom of the 19th century: this could be contrasted with the licentiousness of the previous Georgian Period (1714-1837). Many of these Victorian values spread throughout the British Empire. The term ‘Victorian morality’ describes an ethos that espouses sexual restraint, low tolerance for crime and a strict social code of conduct. Pundits regard the Victorian Era as a time of many contradictions, however, such as the widespread cultivation of an outward appearance of dignity and restraint together with the prevalence of social phenomena such as prostitution and child labor. A plethora of social movements thus arose which attempted to improve the harsh living conditions of the lower classes.” From Charles Dickens in Tales of Two Cities (ISBN 978 1534 96899 8 ): It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way … It sounds a lot like our own age, doesn’t it? I think for many young people, this is an age of confusion: nihilism runs concomitant with the rush, or rather gush, of the Internet. It is difficult to have any verve when so much refuse is heaped on you on a daily basis.
I believe that the “doers” always prevail. Those that nurture their “brand personal” (1) will be successful — none of this, however, without effort: 10,000 hours of work. The great sage Heraclitus (535-475 BC) leaves us with a thought: Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.
A closing thought: There are sadhus, (2) in India, who have forsaken the material world for the spiritual. Most other faiths have similar pious adherents. They live out their consciousness undertaking an ascetic, inner journey. Is this the answer to life: to spend your everyday life removed from its travails? Some would disagree vehemently while others would not act but at least ponder. This is, obviously, a very personal decision. Historically, in Western culture, the number of monks grew in proportion to the level of societal instability. (3) I have no doubt that this is equally as true today and probably on a worldwide scale.
To sum up: this week we spoke about your personal brand and how you define your style and comportment. It is foolish and fatal, from a career perspective, to dress, eat and act inappropriately at an inopportune time. If you act like a “pig,” no matter how erudite and well educated you are, you will limit your future prospects — both privately and corporately.
Just for fun: Glen Campbell – Wichita Lineman
A truism: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink unless he is thirsty.
This week, please reflect on how you present yourself in the world. Are you happy with the results? If not, make the changes that are necessary.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: Life is about action. It is important to remember, nonetheless, that both inaction and action are actions. The one you control (inaction gives you no results), the other one you do not (action gives you indeterminate results). Which is better: guaranteed failure or potential success?
Footnotes:
1) The Ultimate Guide to Personal Branding
2) Sadhu