Due to the fact that we live so much of life in the exterior world – the world outside of our inner self – it is difficult when we are subjected to abuse or bullying, in whatever form: verbal, physical, or, increasingly, digital. The mind poses a myriad of questions that must be asked at all junctures. Does this individual, or group of persons, have some basis for their attacks? Have I done something to inflame or ignite an ongoing situation? In most instances, the aggressors have some flaw of character or personality and they are simply passing them onto you. But it is still worth a moment of self-reflection. This is usually only possible after a period of time, unfortunately. When you find yourself in this pernicious loop of guilt and self-recrimination, it is virtually impossible to escape feeling nauseous and bad all the time. There seems to be no escape, especially when you are unsophisticated and young. It is here that many individuals are lost with seemingly no chance of escape. More and more educational systems, therefore, recognize bullying as a serious crime.
What precipitated this acknowledgment was one extremely unfortunate incidence amongst many. There was a young girl who moved from Ireland to the United States. She dated several young men in quick succession to gain social acceptance and was, ultimately, rejected and denigrated by them. They and a coterie of their friends, girls included, chided and tyrannized her as she walked to school and when she returned home. This, in conjunction with her cultural change, her poor body image, and her psychological isolation drove her to commit suicide at the age of 16. (1) In what was a landmark case for the issue of bullying and abuse, the state of Massachusetts charged and ultimately convicted these adolescents and young adults of several criminal charges. (2) Sadly, this was too late to save the girl or her family from the consequences.
What lessons can be derived from this occurrence? The most important one, I feel, is that only I can accept this vilification of the self and its barbs of disrespect and cruelty. They can only enter into me – my consciousness — if I allow them to do so. I can feel the blows on my body, but it is the inner me that accepts them as true and allows them to alter or punish me. Scholars such as Viktor Frankl have shown that it is virtually impossible to break the human spirit if I refuse to be broken. (3) Conversely, if I believe that I am subject to the ephemeral nature of life, I am. He cites that in his concentration camp near the end of World War Two, (4) — prior to liberation — a rumor began to circulate that the camp would be liberated between Christmas and New Year’s 1944. When it wasn’t, thousands died. Why? Simply put, they had given up hope. If someone can permeate my consciousness with condemnation, abuse, and sentencing — whatever it may be – I am accepting being emasculated. If not, I can survive any ordeal, no matter how awful. Bullying, therefore, has no power, unless I give it its potential. I can defeat this giant in my own personal David and Goliath story. (5) The iconic statesman, Winston Churchill, (6) leaves us with a thought: You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
A closing thought: This is a very tragic occurrence in a human being’s life. It is, of course, more common than not. I was bullied as a child, like so many others. A bit of an amusing story: My oppressor tormented me for years – from elementary school to senior high school. He stopped because of one incident. In our exercise class, there was truly a giant, a very large and muscular young man. One day in some sporting activity, I accidentally bloodied his nose. A rumor was soon circulated that I had pounced on this Brobdingnagian in a fit of anger. My nemesis concluded that I was crazy, mentally ill, and thus left me alone in the future.
To sum up: This week, we spoke about bullying and how to overcome it.
To be noted: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.
Just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDGcyKhPV0M&ab_channel=BrilliantClassics
For reflection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5rUPatnXSE&t=1s&ab_channel=ideacity
This week on your reflective walk, please reflect on your own bullying experience.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: I must learn to gain my inner power.
Footnotes:
1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Phoebe_Prince
2) https://newsfeed.time.com/2011/05/05/teens-who-admitted-to-bullying-phoebe-prince-sentenced/
3) https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/03/26/viktor-frankl-mans-search-for-meaning/
4) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCy02267X8A&ab_channel=PublicResourceOrg
5) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_and_Goliath_(Caravaggio)
6) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV_msNkTcoc&ab_channel=ThePeopleProfiles