Whenever you deal with a class of young people, you often hear language that is very self-deprecating: I am not very smart; I am fat; I am ugly; My language is very poor, to name but a few. I always caution that those ideas are your own. They are not necessarily how I see you nor does anyone else, for that matter. Beauty, intelligence, ugliness, laziness, and stupidity are all concepts that we adopt quite needlessly. Today in the Internet Age, there are so many images to compare ourselves to that it is difficult to develop one’s own concept of the self — of self-love.
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Can I catch your eye?
It is a curious thing — we are all isolated in our own thoughts. I look across the room and see you. How can I “catch your eye?” It is not easy. Aristotle (384-322 BC) along with many philosophers and thinkers, intimates that “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” (1) That said, if you misunderstand my gaze, there is virtually nothing I can do. How then do I make that journey from the self to invite the other into my world of kindness and understanding? With some caution, we are told. Studies tell us that we form a conception of the other individual within just seconds of our initial introduction. (2) The way I present myself, my personal brand, (3) goes a long way in determining whether you are encouraged to continue to chat with me or not.
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How do I understand my negative thoughts?
As a conscious being, I am burdened with negative thoughts, with thinking in general. Why is this the case? It is the curse (or blessing) of being alive, I maintain. When we are adolescents, we often hear about the concept of personal freedom — of free will. (1) I can, ultimately, decide what I want to do with my life. This is initially tempered by the authority figures: our parents, our family, and our teachers, to name but a few. We say to ourselves, soon we will be independent, free, and able to throw off these shackles of control. Not true, unfortunately: as we age and gain more experience in life, our options and possibilities are increasingly limited by the choices we have already made or those that have been thrust upon us. I am a certain sex, born into a particular family with a level in society, I have a given intelligence and I have studied distinct subjects at school, etc. These are my unchangeable givens at this time. (2)
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Does my appearance matter?
The other day, one of my young students asked me, “Does my The other day, one of my young students asked me, “Does my appearance really matter?” The answer is irrefutable — yes, of course! As we all know, we live in an extremely informal age. People don’t seem to enjoy “natty” attire or a sophisticated look. Why you may ask? I think, ultimately, it has to do with a lessening or a weakening of people’s appreciation for the exterior world — we don’t pay attention — we are bored and really don’t care! (1) We are fooling ourselves, unfortunately. The problem is one of fatigue.
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You deserve a day of glee
When was the last time that you felt a day of unbridled delight – a period of pure glee – it has been a long time, hasn’t it? It is the same for all of us. We are, seemingly, caught in this web of negativity. It is at a point, I feel, that we must begin to reflect on why we are exposed to so much bad news. (1) Is the world in really that dire a condition? The truth is that for vast amounts of people, reality today is, potentially, far more interesting and attractive than in our historical past. (2) The possibilities are endless. Yes, there are challenges in the future. Some even of an apocalyptic nature, but are we to live out our 80 or 90 years in this state of fear? I think not.
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The excitement and joy of travel
Many pundits say that one of the hardest aspects of the recent pandemic has been the cessation of physical travel. (1) Most individuals have been isolated in their native country if not in their own home. This has led to a collapse of the worldwide travel industry and a re-evaluation of the concept of internationalism (2) and a borderless world. In addition, The Internet has left us with the fallacious belief that this loss may not actually be that severe because we can “virtually” travel, in any case. Florence, Barcelona, or Paris are only a click away. This digital reality is much like any B-grade movie. It titillates and adumbrates the edges of the experience, but it cannot provide the real phenomenon. Proponents of VR technology assure us, however, that soon our holographic voyage will actually mirror the “genuine episode,” and vice versa. (3)
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Be excited and respect yourself!
How are you doing — it is a busy life isn’t it? We are so overwhelmed with the minutiae of life that it is hard to “sit back” and reflect on who I am and where am I going. Certainly, everyone in the marketplace knows my profile and what I need. To this end, we are pushed to consume, consume, and consume yet again. The whole process of an education appears to simply be a way that I can become a purchaser of goods. Due to the advent of the Internet and demographic studies, your “acquiring standard” is analyzed down to the smallest detail. (1)
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DISMISS THE SMALL INDIGNITIES
Have you ever experienced those upsetting moments – what I like to call the small indignities? You know the ones I mean. The petty insults and the condescension generated by the frustrated, the forlorn, and the disenfranchised – and you are on “the receiving end.” Of course, you have – we all have. You try to return an item and the store won’t take it back because it was on sale – unbeknownst to you. The broken item that can’t possibly be fixed because it is discontinued and the government worker who has decided to make your life unnecessarily tedious. The list goes on and on. What do we do about these insults to me and my being?
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We must learn to be thankful
Life is, seemingly, such a raging river, isn’t she? (1) It is hard to stop for a quick moment and reflect on just how lucky we are – on a personal level, I have a lot to be thankful for. Whatever my life circumstances, I have already won the cosmological lottery: I am alive and part of the human race. We are told that the chances of being born as me are incalculable – beyond true calculation. (2)
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Why are you so sad?
The thought that life is a competitive race is a common theory held by many. Two ideas are implicit in this belief and these, I contend, can only produce sadness and a sense of loss. The one is that you must be aggressive and “win at life.” This begins in school, continues at university, and is a tacit understanding of your working time. The other is that existence is fast and fleeting. It is a finite period of consciousness, isn’t it – filled with short-lived moments of joy? Most of our experiences only reinforce this view. Our cities are overwhelmed with mechanical devices and peripatetic people. We are busy, busy, busy, and take little time to ponder and reflect – numerous people are unhappy because of their lifestyle and yet can’t or won’t change.
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