Allow me to accept the things I can change

Lord, allow me to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and know the difference. (1) This is a common understanding in all addiction treatments. It is the realization that I can be in control, to a certain extent, of my reality, as I see it.

One of the major hurdles we are faced with today is the comparison. Some pundits have, in fact, labeled this “the age of comparison.” (2) Now, to be fair, human beings have always compared themselves to others. This has led to the creation of standards of excellence in music, in philosophy, in science, etc. Without a comparative interpretation of many aspects of human evolution, mankind would never have moved forward.

Unfortunately, in the modern era, this relativism (3) has produced a societal neurosis that is both evil and dangerous. By possessing a cell phone, the youngest child can compare their physique, intelligence, social status, and friends with their peers — at the “click of the hand.” The human mind was never designed to scrutinize 100,000 bits of unfiltered data on a daily basis. When you are of tender years, it is easy to be saddened by your perception of so many messages — meanings that are easily misinterpreted.

All religions, for example, tell us to improve and get closer to God or the gods. The spiritual message is positive in its totality. The Internet, regrettably, often communicates that you are worthless and without potential. It does not hold that you are a raw diamond waiting to be polished but a worthless clump of clay — just look at how many of your classmates are far, far superior to you.

Recently, a young man told me that he wasn’t tall and good-looking enough to secure a date with a girl. There are just too many superior men for women to choose from. This is a horrible belief, for if you claim that something is not possible, you are right; it is unattainable. It is only when you believe all is possible — giving your givens (4) — that it is.

When you place yourself against others, you will come away wanting every time. There will always be someone better looking and more intelligent than me, but there will never, ever be anyone like me. However, I must get to work on developing myself, embarking on a lifetime of growth and education. I must learn to accept what I can change and get to work on me. The iconic writer, Ernest Hemingway, (5) leaves us with a thought: There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.

A closing thought: Socially, we are being inculcated with the idea that only a lucky few are chosen by the universe to succeed. I am not in the selected cohort, so I don’t make the grade. If we are unable or unwilling to shake off this belief, we are guaranteed a lifetime of pain and frustration. One’s life is a very long and interesting journey, but its success or failure, as you see it, is 100% up to you. You have the free will to choose which psychological path to follow. You are the quality of your thoughts.

To sum up: This week we spoke about becoming mature.

To be noted: I think and think and think. I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. (6)

Just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjnKuhcfB6U&ab_channel=BATACHANDESU

For reflection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI_1bW1ET5Q&ab_channel=GrowthLifeMindset

This week, on your reflective walk, please change the things you can change.

Every day, look for something magical and beautiful.

Don’t be a wage slave – critical thinking is great!