Adversity as strength

Adversity: this is a concept that produces a visceral feeling in one’s heart, does it not? All of us experience difficulties in life. But, can I turn calamity into inner strength and, ultimately, prosper from the experience? Conventional wisdom tells us that the way we deal with a crisis dictates how our gift of life will unfold. It is to be noted that, just at the moment of success, many trip and fall — and do not get up again. (1) This is true of the mighty and of the humble: the failed businessman, the almost rock star, the attractive man or woman who stumble into a dissolute life, etc., etc. — why? There is no easy solution to this quandary.

What am I to do when faced with pain and trauma if I still want to build a meaningful life. Firstly: after a tragedy has been experienced, following a period of pain and suffering, it is important to begin the process of “a reconciliation with the self.” (2) I must accept that what has occurred is real — be it a great financial or emotional loss. The past is carved in stone. It cannot be changed. Yes, it can be learned from, but not altered.

Next: a path of growth must be embarked on. Memories will always sting. It is impossible to believe that something life-altering can be forgotten — it can’t. But I must move on, psychologically and spiritually, as best I can. This could aptly be called trauma. — a period of suffering. It is fraught with indecision and sleeplessness. There is the ever-persistent question: “How can I go on, there is such a hole in my heart?” But, much like a stone dropped in water, after a cacophonous splash, the water settles and finds a new level. After the storm, there will be calm. My face is wet and wind-splattered, but I am still here.

Now, what am I to make of the future? When I can allow myself a moment of reflection, I remark that I have learned much from what has happened. This understanding has not been given to ordinary men — not awarded to everyone. Why is this? This is because you have become more introspective than most. You realize that many would not be reflective and contemplative about these experiences and would just suffer — perhaps for the rest of their lives. A walk in any impoverished area in North America will display the countless souls who have never gotten over their wounds and have simply given up!

So what is on the other side of trauma? Wisdom: you realize that you are alone and in control of your emotions. William James (1842-1910), the great psychologist and philosopher draws the distinction between the “me” and the “I.” (3) You now understand your I and the “I” that Martin Buber talks about in I and Thou. (4) There is ultimately only you and your relationship with God, Gaia, and the Universe to achieve the peace that you desire. So, adversity has actually given you a newfound strength. The lecturer and author, Barbara De Angelis (b. 1951) leaves us with a thought: We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.

A closing thought: Life is hard. It is probably supposed to be this way. It challenges us and in this way, we are toughened and, in theory, we grow wise. Sadly, if you have no relationship with yourself, you may not lead the beatific life that you desire. That said, all of us can learn through prayer and meditation to gain this inner strength. It is simply a matter of resolve and hard work. Nothing of any value ever comes easily. All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty — Proverbs 14:23. This age-old proverb is true.

To sum up: This week, we spoke about adversity as strength. How can I overcome the many challenges in life?

To be noted: From Gail Sheehy (5) — To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.

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