We live in a world of images. All are external to ourselves. Nonetheless, style and elegance are associated with social hierarchy and advancement. It is a reality, however, distant from my own interior life. I live in my head. How then does one integrate the external self with the hidden beauty within? This is especially true when I first meet you. How do I first impress?
Looking at the informality and lack of style in present-day society, one could easily claim that this concept has little to no value. (1) But is this true? Nothing could be further from the truth. The answer is, nonetheless, extremely nuanced. In modern society — certainly for post-Millennials — everyone appears to be bordering on perfect, even magnificent. Everyone is good-looking, has perfect teeth, and comes from a good family. The question remains: what makes me “100 percent plus?” The answer can only be my style, my brand — which begins with my first impression.
The difficulty lies in truly believing that there is an external world beyond my inner life, and that my body is actively a part of it. I can admire my physical form in the mirrors at the gym, but I do not always sense the “otherness” of my shape to other people. To really “grasp” your body to others: have a shower. Then put on your pajamas — or not — and run up to a full-length mirror in your bedroom. For an instant, you may be shocked at the person staring back at you. You may feel embarrassed. Why is that individual in my room? And then, rather amusingly: Oh — that is me — my body. I feel ridiculous!
In that moment, you comprehend the “other” — the person, the body — “me” in the world. This is a freeing and, at the same time, enslaving realization. I can no longer hide behind the shroud of my mind. I must interact in the world. I am obligated to have some style. Failure to do so will result in unnecessary failure and distraction. It seems to me that many people are blind to this realization.
I once taught at a company that was looking for two salespeople. It was a good job, well paid, with the benefit of international travel. After a deluge of résumés, the company selected two candidates: a man and a woman. Both had MBAs from prestigious universities and were, purportedly, experienced in the art of selling. The woman arrived first for the interview. She chewed gum rather loudly throughout the meeting. As we are well aware, gum chewing is appropriate for a hike or a day at the beach — but certainly not for a formal business introduction.
The second candidate, a man, did not stand when the interviewer entered the room. To add insult to injury, he was poorly dressed, thereby demonstrating a crude misunderstanding of what an interview represents. The company did not hire either applicant. This was rather sad, because both were probably very nice young people. But their presentation skills were horrid. They were obviously under the impression that their education would “carry the day.” That may have been true in the 1970s. Now, however, with the overwhelming number of well-educated individuals in the marketplace, style and a legitimate personal brand have come to the forefront.
We live in complex and competitive times. That said, the more people I meet in life, the more I position myself on a path toward success, as I define it. My first impression will, potentially, open the doors that otherwise would remain shut. From Oscar Wilde: You never get a second chance at a first impression. (2)
A closing thought: Both Mercedes-Benz and Toyota manufacture cars, but they each have a radically different class and image — perceived more than technically understood. The only solution to this quandary is to begin building one’s brand and style. How does one begin? Many pundits suggest starting with color coordination. (3) What colors look best on me? This is often associated with the seasons — spring, summer, fall, or winter. Blue, for example, is frequently linked with summer because of its brightness.
Next, develop a learned personal philosophy of life — hopefully a positive and inquisitive one. (4) Finally, nurture an ongoing sense of curiosity and learning. This will appear in your first impression. If I look bored and dejected in my ideas, I will convey that impression to those I meet. As Aristotle observed, “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Put your best physical self forward, why not?
To sum up: This week, we spoke about developing your personal brand and creating a positive first impression.
To be noted: From William Somerset Maugham (5) — The well-dressed man is he whose clothes you never notice.
Just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgXSomPE_FY&list=RDSgXSomPE_FY&start_radio=1
For reflection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYy-6ltraVQ
This week, on your introspective walk, please reflect on your style and what that means to you.
Every day, look for something magical and beautiful.
Don’t be a wage slave – critical thinking is great!
Quote: Remember to show your style, why not?
Footnotes:
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYnyqMts_1A
2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njSSCBjnsbU&t=101s
3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MrvJ7k8B4o