Have you ever noticed that people are naturally kind? Yes, we do encounter the occasional curmudgeon or misanthrope – but in the main, humanity is impressive in its thoughtfulness. Why then are we overwhelmed with the suggestion that the individual is an evil self-centered cur? Sadly we seem to have a flawed gene. We also like to hear of the dirty and the deranged. It is as if each of us as an implicit combination of good and evil. This has been seized upon by the media and hence we occupy the angst-ridden world of today. I always ask myself, if this, however, has to be the case – could we not slowly begin to wean ourselves off the sordid and debauched to something more pure and cerebral?
One hypothesis suggests that it is all related to the “negativity bias.” (1) This is, essentially, a way we view the world related to our biological construction, “Our tendency to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive. This meant they were also more likely to hand down the genes that made them more attentive to danger. The evolutionary perspective suggests that this tendency to dwell on the negative more than the positive is simply one way the brain tries to keep us safe.” (2)
Having this awareness, therefore, we can approach the “cascade of world events” (mostly negative) that greets us each day with a “grain of salt.” (3) The founders of modern Yellow Journalism, (4) William Randolph Hearst (1863-1951) and Joseph Pulitzer (1847-1911), made this realization into an art form. “Although these days his name is somewhat synonymous with journalism of the highest standards, through association with the Pulitzer Prize (5) established by provisions in his will, Joseph Pulitzer had a very different reputation while alive. After purchasing The New York World in 1884 and rapidly increasing circulation through the publication of sensationalist stories he earned the dubious honor of being the pioneer of tabloid journalism. He soon had a competitor in the field when his rival William Randolph Hearst acquired The New York Journal in 1885 (originally begun by Joseph’s brother Albert). The rivalry was fierce, each trying to outdo each other with ever more sensational and salacious stories. At a meeting of prominent journalists in 1889 Florida Daily Citizen editor Lorettus Metcalf claimed that due to their competition ‘the evil grew until publishers all over the country began to think that perhaps at heart the public might really prefer vulgarity.’” (6) With this realization, we can embark of a healthier path, much like we must eventually quit smoking if we want to – potentially — live a long and happy life.
As a short corollary: anyone who has ever smoked, as I have, knows that “it is a wonderful habit.” You immediately have friends to share a cigarette with (a form of bonding) and the nicotine, which is a natural stimulant, relaxes you (a snippet of momentary peace). I am, of course, being facetious. This habit will physically cripple and, eventually, kill you and must be stopped as early as possible – or even better, never started at all.
The key then is to have an understanding of the world around you and consciously begin to focus on a healthier psychological lifestyle. Look at the good in the everyday and the ordinary — smile at people; be gracious and strive to be considerate. We cannot “turn off” the information that exists on the Internet, but we can filter it through a golden sieve. As a sentient being, once I am aware of a likely malady, I can take steps to mitigate its results – and realize that my reality is an immense gift. Curiously: being kind makes all of us feel better, doesn’t it? The great aviator, Amelia Earhart, (7) leaves us with a thought: A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.
A closing thought: I do think that a lot of us are extraordinarily busy, relative to our agriculturally-orientated ancestors. On the farm, there is a natural pace to the seasons and hence to life. This is no longer possible in our harried modern world. One way to gain control of time is to have a routine. When you get up in the morning, create a pattern that sets the day: make your bed, write in your notebook, and take time to meditate. These small steps will slow down time and give the new day a freshness and excitement. Most importantly, remember your life mission. The world needs you to work on its progress each and every day.
To sum up: This week we spoke about kindness and how we can enhance and improve it.
To be noted: To be heroic is to be courageous enough to die for something; to be inspirational is to be crazy enough to live a little.
Just for fun: Adele – Someone Like You
For reflection: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success
This week on your reflective walk, please think about your own special brand of kindness.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful
Quote: I am the only person who can create and shape my world.
Footnotes:
2) What Is the Negativity Bias?