I don’t get it!

There is so much in life that I just don’t understand. Things to me that are self-evident, appear at times, to not be the same to other people. I ask, is this because of culture or ethnicity, or age? Why do I remark on events that others simply do not notice?

That said, I always think that all thoughtful people are pretty much the same. When presented with ideas or actions that appear to be illogical, bordering on madness — we ask why this is occurring.

In this regard, a troubling image comes to mind that happened the other day. I stopped for a coffee and a newspaper at a local convenience store. As I was reading, I looked up and saw two young children silently eating their breakfast at a nearby table.

Two things were immediately startling: The first was that the children were totally silent as if cowed into submission. The second was that the father was busily chatting on the phone, somehow oblivious to his family sitting before him. The children seemed to be saying, “We’ve tried and tried to get your attention and now we’ve just given up.”

These adolescents are not alone, unfortunately. Many of my students have confided that their parents never talk to them. This is especially true of boys. The danger here, of course, is that if we do not learn the art of discourse from our family, we are forced to learn it from the Internet, the cellphone. Aggression runs rampant on the Internet. (1)

The idea of discussing an idea, in a non-violent format, is one of the redeeming factors of civilization. We do not need war to solve our conflicts, we need dialogue. Nonetheless, if we do not learn the art of public debate, we will continue to see an ever-growing series of escalations over a multitude of issues.

The suppression of free speech is one of the many elements that lead to eventual conflict. (2) We must learn to love and talk to one another. This will result in a real verbal exchange and the realization that we are much more similar as beings than we are different.

The great communicator, Tony Robbins, (3) leaves us with a thought: To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

A closing thought: People are increasingly afraid to give an opinion. They fear that saying anything controversial will leave them branded as some form of reactionary. Still, we must not be fearful to state our opinions if they are thoughtful and helpful to the public comments on an issue.

To sum up: This week, we talked about learning how to communicate honestly.

To be noted: From Peggy O’Mara (4) — The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.

Just for fun: