Most parents are exceptionally good at telling their children how special they are, how very unique. Then comes the “kicker”: “You can be anything you want to be.” This lasts until we are around 16 years old and then, suddenly, we realize that this is a total fabrication: a lie. We can’t be anything we want to be, or do anything we want to do, because … and you fill in the dots. We have been given a false view of what life is, and the constraints placed on that life. The Existentialists call these facts “our givens,” characteristics that we must accept as essential to our being: I am almost 60, I do have two children, I am white, etc. These are things that I cannot change. Taking these factors into consideration and truly accepting them, allows me to begin my journey of self discovery. I am then free to be me. It is to be noted, in my opinion, that at a youthful age, there is no me, no mature self. There are just snippets of likes, dislikes and wants. It is those tiny pieces of personality that are the keys to your future.
Much like you need dry kindling (1) to ignite a massive fire, so you need a plethora of thoughts and emotions to create that fabulous you. The great disappointment of many visionaries, like Sir Ken Robinson, (2) in modern education is that the instructor is not allowed enough leeway to nurture you in the direction of your interest. “If we want students to act responsibly, we have to give them responsibilities. We have to provide them with a classroom where they are encouraged and helped to make decisions. If students are unable to weigh the arguments carefully, anticipate long-term consequences, or take others’ needs into account, that may mean they need help figuring out how to do these things. They may have little experience making meaningful choices. Indeed, the same paradox appears: many of the teachers and parents who grumble that kids ‘just don’t take responsibility’ spend their days ordering kids around — as though children could learn how to make good decisions by following directions. But once again, the question is not just whether we have taught children a list of relevant skills, but whether we have worked with them to create an environment where their needs and preferences matter, where their voices are heard and valued.” (3) However, many times we haven’t. As a society, we still want to put people in an employment box, much like the guilds of the Middle Ages (4) expected us to follow in our father’s craft or trade. We continue to needlessly seek status from our employment rather than from our career or our social contribution. Born at the end of the 20thcentury, it is almost certain that Van Gogh (1853-1890) would have faced such public opprobrium that he would have never been the “Van Gogh” that we know. This is the curse of the contemporary artist. If he or she becomes successful, read famous and rich, then they are great artists. If the opposite remains true, they are but dissolute renegades trying to live off the created wealth of the rest of us.
I would like to proffer another reason why individuals fail to achieve their greatness: they don’t really want to. Sadly, “talk is cheap.” This old chestnut continues to plague us. Really wanting to succeed at a goal, to realize a vision, requires the sacrifice of a little piece of you. There are people who will simply not put in the work required. Often, they have never been taught how to work; they have learned that you can quite easily function in the world by doing a “good-enough job.” Life then becomes one of approximations, never of excellence. Recently, during a heavy rain, one of the terminals at Taiwan’s main international airport leaked. The building was virtually brand new. How is this possible? Easy: someone working and, subsequently, someone checking, did a good-enough job. In a fortunate twist of historical irony, most V-2 rockets (5) made by Nazi slave laborers, failed to function properly, thus, potentially, saving tens of thousands of lives. A recent Taipei Times article (April 2nd, 2016) stated that young people were only willing to risk (NT) $500,000 when starting a business: my advice — don’t! To only furnish an office and incorporate a company often costs more: “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” However, if we are willing to truly put our “heart and soul” into something, the results are usually astounding. History is filled with the narratives of those who never gave up, or died trying: Robert Scott died while trying to be the first to reach the South Pole. (6) His is an interesting study in blind determination and bravery. We need our heroes to guide us forward: especially ones that are not focused on money and fame. The motivator, public speaker and philosopher, Robin Sharma (b. 1965) leaves us with a thought:The starting point of discovering who you are, your gifts, your talents, your dreams, is being comfortable with yourself. Spend time alone. Write in a journal. Take long walks in the woods.
Additional thoughts from Father Henri Nouwen (1932-1996): Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and in the life to come.
A small joke: Mrs. Jones had a friend who was having a birthday. He was an avid collector of modern art so she thought that she would buy him a small painting to add to his collection. She went into a local art gallery to purchase a painting. The prices were just stunning. Finally, she saw a small painting that didn’t have a price sticker on it. In great anticipation, she inquired as to the cost. Totally flummoxed, the clerk studied her for what seemed like an eternity and finally replied: “Madame,” said the clerk, “that’s a light switch!”
This week, please remember to steel yourself for the journey ahead.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: If I refuse to achieve (or attempt to achieve) my potential as a unique human being, I will eventually experience a great moral loss: the absense of the real me!
Footnotes
1) Kindling refers to small pieces of wood or bark used to start a fire.
2) Do Schools Kill Creativity? | Sir Ken Robinson | TED Talks
4) Guild
5) V-2 rocket