As the New Year beckons, we are, once again, called upon to make some form of promise: the New Year’s Resolution. I promise to lose weight; I promise to study harder; I promise to make those dramatic life changes: the list goes on and on and, in all fairness, is only limited by our own creativity. The central thrust to all of this, of course, is the basic desire to be happy. Happiness, however, seems to be some primordial construct that eludes most of humanity: why?
The reasons given are always external. I was happy, “but then,” I lost my job, I lost my wife, I lost my money. Or the much better excuse: I was never happy because I was unloved as a child; I was beaten as a young person; my skin color is black, pink, white, blue, orange, etc. This list is also endless and is only subject to our imagination and whimsy. Where am I right now: right now! I am here in the present, to paraphrase Eckhart Tolle (b. 1948). If this is even somewhat true, I can choose to be happy “right now.” It simply requires a basic shift in my perception of myself and in my understanding of life. Life begins when I am born and ceases when I die, in this consciousness. My happiness is thus of my own creation.
This is a very, very big topic. The great wag Tallulah Bankhead (1) was famous for her rapier wit. She once famously remarked: “I have been poor and I have been rich, rich is better.” This is most certainly true physically. Bespoke or tailor-made clothing fits better and is more comfortable than clothing “bought off the rack.” But, let me relate a small story. Recently, during the Christmas season, I was in Vancouver. One day, I happened to find myself in a shop owned by the Salvation Army (2). It sells used clothing and refurbished household goods. By chance, I overheard a conversation between an indigent mother and her children. They were discussing buying some holiday gifts for their family and were truly “thrilled by their finds” in this particular store. Happiness is therefore relative to one’s situation. It is self created and self nurtured.
Now quite curiously, unhappiness is also a very positive virtue and produces growth, both physically and spiritually. When most individuals are despondent, they aspire to change their situation to make it more meaningful and contented. Being malcontented lends impetus to the desire to change “one’s lot in life.” The difficulty with modern society is that the Internet creates the illusion of success. If you are not where you want to be in life, just go to Second Life (3), for example, create an avatar and disappear into fantasy when you get home: forget dealing with reality and change. Mediocrity is the bane of any civilization: the latter Roman Empire would be an excellent example of this thought. Edward Gibbon, in his classic work on the fall of the Roman Empire, described the Roman Empire’s decline as a place where “bizarreness masqueraded as creativity.” Does this not sound familiar for our own time? The philosopher, intellectual and writer, Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986) leaves us with a thought: It seems to me that the real problem is the mind itself, and not the problem which the mind has created and tries to solve. If the mind is petty, small, narrow, limited, however great and complex the problem may be, the mind approaches that problem in terms of its own pettiness. If I have a little mind and I think of God, the God of my thinking will be a little God, though I may clothe him with grandeur, beauty, wisdom, and all the rest of it.
A small joke: A man was feeling very strange so he went to see a psychiatrist. “Your condition is very straightforward,” said the specialist. “You have two distinct personalities.” The man was greatly incensed and disbelieving: he got up from his chair to leave. “How much was the consultation? He angrily queried. One hundred dollars,” the doctor stated. “Here is fifty,” the man replied. “Get the other fifty from my friend.”
This week, please consider how you will create your own happiness
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: The next time you experience a somber, cloudy day, aspire to feel happy and at peace. You will feel powerful because you have controlled your mood and made it blissful.
Footnotes:
2) The Salvation Army (founded in 1865) is a Christian charity organization predicated on helping the underprivileged and drug addled in our society
3) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Life