Friends

We all want and need friends. It is a given that if you have a dearth of friendships in your lifetime, you suffer from ill health and an early death. (1) Technology and its applications have certainly increased the number of contacts that we receive on a daily basis. Why then are we lonelier, as a society, than we have ever been? You would think that a medium such as the Internet would make us awash with friends and companions. It hasn’t, in spite of this; it has divided and isolated us even more. (2) The term friend has even been twisted into something silly and shallow. “How many friends do you have?” Why?

At the onset, it is important to realize that for most of humanity’s progress, few of us have been adventurous souls. (3) We have stayed mostly closer to home than not and lived out our lives in somewhat splendid ignorance and isolation. People did travel, but the events mostly remained in their memories. Around the beginning of the millennium, however, social media took hold. (4) This allowed everyone to see what economic opportunities stood in front of us and the exotic venues we could, or perhaps should visit. The online world became more and more time-consuming and more and more psychologically damaging – filling us with fake expectations. We are, essentially, competing — not just with a limited circle of acquaintances – but with the planet’s entire population – or at least against our demographic (5) within the population. “I feel so small, fat and ugly.” (6) I now need friends – real friends – more than ever before.

So what is the solution to this Pandora’s Box? (7) Well, you will remember that what remained after the crate was opened was hope. Therefore if you want to find friendship, the very first items you must retain are your senses of optimism and expectation. The second, equally important, is the realization that I carry my personal friend around with me every day. I must be my own best friend. This is very easy to say and is, of course, stated all the time. The reality, unfortunately, is far, far harder to achieve. To know the self, “To thine own self be true,” (8) to comprehend who you are and what you are capable of realizing takes a lot of work and a lifetime of effort. Get out your notebook and document you on a daily basis – write! Additionally, learn how to meditate, contemplate, and be attentive in the world.

Finally, recuse or excuse yourself from social media as much as possible. You are already biased and overwhelmed. You cannot possibly decide what is good for your life when you are drowning in it. Use the information highway to find clubs and people of interest and then “get real.” Meet people face to face. If you have a friend in Poland, as I have, go and see him as much as possible. Use your phone or computer as a virtual phone. In this way, real and long-lasting friendships will be achieved. The great intellectual and storyteller, C.S. Lewis (9) leaves us with a thought: Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

A closing thought: The pandemic has come to Taiwan. With it has come its concomitant terror and apprehension. This is associated with the fear of death and what this transition means, I assume. The yellow journalistic press has encouraged us to believe that we are into the Bubonic Plague or the Spanish Flu. (10) This is most certainly not the case. In my estimation, we must use our friendships to speak to one another. One of us must be informed and thoughtful. The linkage between human beings can, and has, changed the world. If leaders are true friends, policies are enacted and chaos is mitigated. True friends love one another and, as we know, love makes the world go round.

To sum up: This week we spoke about friendship and its necessity in life.

To be noted: From Aristotle (11) — Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. Just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6f0A15bxNc

For reflection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSJ7Sl-Q-HE

This week on your reflective walk, please ponder what friendship means to you.

Every day look for something magical and beautiful.

Quote: The friendship that I have with myself, is the most dear and enduring.

Footnotes:

1) https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/30/health/loneliness-elderly.html

2) https://www.healthline.com/health/how-social-media-is-ruining-relationships

3) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_migration

4) https://historycooperative.org/the-history-of-social-media/

5) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demography

6) https://themerrymakersisters.com/im-fat-ugly-stop-negative-self-talk/

7) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMdJxVjZMRI