This week, I overheard a conversation between two people: “Don’t worry about what the other person thinks of you, be concerned about how you think of yourself.” This is easier said than done. Many of us suffer from a crisis of identity. I am quite sure that this angst has always been a part of the psychological makeup of the Western human being; at least since Greco-Roman civilization began. “One of the earliest indications of interest in the problem of personal identity occurs in a scene from a play written in the fifth century BC by the comic playwright Epicharmus. (1) In this scene, a lender asks a debtor to pay what he owes. The debtor replies by asking the lender whether anything that undergoes change, such as a pile of pebbles to which one pebble has been added or removed, becomes a different thing. The lender says that he agrees with that statement. ‘Well then,’ says the debtor, ‘aren’t people constantly undergoing changes?’ ‘Yes,’ replies the lender. ‘So,’ says the debtor, ‘it follows that I’m not the same person as the one who was indebted to you and, so, I owe you nothing.’” This argument does not work in a court of law.
The Phaedo (2) goes even further: “Echecrates asks us whether Phaedo ‘himself’ was present at Socrates’ death. The intensive pronoun is an excellent example of how the deepest philosophical problems for Plato lie right at the surface of ordinary language. Echecrates’ question makes us wonder what words like ‘himself’ and ‘itself’ ultimately mean. … What is the soul? What is the relationship between soul and form? (3) And does selfhood, our identity, make any sense without the body to which our soul is mysteriously attached?” The very process of the identity of self requires that you feel that you are free to function in the world: the realization of your existential freedom at, say, twenty years old. However, ours is certainly a civilization that has had its substantive free will removed. We are subjected to an enormous amount of advertising: a stunning amount of images are presented to us on a daily basis. It is difficult to discover the self that you are. An even harder acceptance is the acknowledgement that your “self” is uniquely your own. I teach a lot of young people, especially young women. They are often confused about which self they want to be: the physically-beautiful self, the rich self, the married self, the free self, etc. Our authority figures are often naïve to the real challenges faced by adolescents. The youth of our society may appear to be dissolute, but in truth they are driven to distraction and inaction by a barrage of options – too many to contemplate! The greatest irony of consciousness is the understanding that “you,” and you alone, must find yourself, as all the great philosophical works tell us. But, that self only lies within you. This being can only be discovered and uncovered through prayer and meditation. There is no other path. The Big Five (drugs, alcohol, sex, money and power) will never supply the answers. A great joy washes over you when you realize that, at least, answers do exist: they are not easily accessed, but they are there. We are told by yogis, such as Sadhguru, that “we” are in command of our five senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch). The implications of this realization are truly phenomenal. “Who makes you shy?” The answer is, of course, “only yourself.” Many, many people will not and do not accept this because it has very serious implications for our world of pain: I am poor, an alcoholic, a drug addict, a malcontent, etc. because (and here we must place an excuse) my father beat me, my mother didn’t love me, I lost all my money, I was cheated — the list is absolutely endless. Regardless of how we deal with this as a collective, a society, and its response to the Common Good, this is the truth. I am 100% responsible for my happiness, unless I have psychiatric problems. If we truly accept this, we are free to develop a concept of self that is uniquely our own: truly freeing. Dr Schwartz, from Tuesdays with Morrie fame, leaves us with a thought: Here’s what I mean about building my own subculture. … I don’t mean you disregard ever rule of your community. I don’t go around naked, for example. I don’t run red lights. The little things, I can obey. But the big things – how we think, what we value – those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone – or any society – determine those for you.
A closing thought: often we are critical of others before we pass judgment on our self. The New Testament is quick to give us moral guidance in this area. Luke 6: 42 admonishes us: “How can you say, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while you yourself fail to see the beam in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
A small joke: Tim was an arrogant and rich man. He liked to impress people, and he especially liked to impress women. He was always rude to waiters in restaurants to increase his societal stature. One day he took a beautiful young lady to an expensive establishment. The girl was enthralled with the décor and the overall sense of sophistication. Tim was desperate to continue the charade. “What would you like to eat?” he pompously inquired. “I would like the trout” was his date’s reply. “Oh,” said Tim, “I hear that that dish is very delicious and the trout are imported from France!” “Waiter, excuse me. Are the fish French?” he inquired. “I apologize, sir. I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to them yet today,” was the waiter’s dismissive reply.
This week, please contemplate how you see yourself in the world.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: We must constantly remind people that there are no excuses to life. If you want to have a well- lived life, it must be nurtured: peace and happiness are not free. They require many hours of effort and introspection.
Footnotes
2) Phaedo