I often open my eyes in the morning accompanied by a startling thought, given to me by my good friend Bill, to paraphrase: “I am awake, ergo, I must be alive – it is, therefore, another good day!” It is a jarring “reality check” because, at sixty, more so than more tender years, you quite literally might not wake up. Books have been written on this greatest of all unknowns: death and its attendant fear and paranoia. As I approach its door, I understand less and less why you would be afraid. When you are dead, well, you are dead. Whatever your religious interpretation of the hereafter, this phase of your reality has been transformed and transported somewhere else. I am much more concerned about being alive; in this capacity, I can act and react, or, as is usually the case, not act at all. It has to be one of the most disturbing realizations: if you don’t act — you have still acted — bizarre, and ultimately, unfair! If you want to crawl into your limited perceptual box at twenty years of age and never venture out, why can’t you be simply left alone to exist in your dull, unimaginative world? The short answer is because this is not how the universe exists: it is dynamic – always has been and always will be.
What then, is hindering the greatness that each unique individual possesses? Fear! Fear of what, you may ask? In many, I would conclude, it is the fear of everything – from social opprobrium to asking a girl on a date. I have personal experience with this latter tragic occurrence. I was a shy, withdrawn and introspective young man. In this condition, it was extremely difficult to make friends, and certainly girlfriends. Nevertheless, I was extremely fortunate. One day there was a beautiful new girl in our class: Miranda. We really “hit it off,” for whatever reason. Slowly, at least from my perspective, we began to get closer and closer. Finally I “drummed up” the courage to ask her to become my girlfriend. On that fateful date, I was well versed and more than adequately prepared. A man must be ready to fend off probing questions, mustn’t he? “Why not just remain friends?” and the like. I arrived at school and as soon as I saw her in the hallway. I verbally pinioned her. She parried my thrust and replied: “Leon, first I must tell you something.” “No problem,” I replied. I was actually relieved that I had been granted a few more moments to build up my courage. In the silence I hear, “I have met a boy,” and I keep waiting for, “and his name is Leon.” But no: what assaults my senses is, “and his name is Bob!” Now, with all due respect to the Bobs of this world, for me, this name still unleashes a wave of nausea and despair. “What?” and then the knife through your heart, the kicker, “Leon, are you OK, you are happy for me, aren’t you?” And, the feeble, disingenuous reply, “Oh, of course,” I was too late. My fear had allowed me to procrastinate. I had waited too long!
It was a seminal moment in my life. I promised myself that I would act in all future circumstances. And, I mostly have. Some of these actions have been a great mistake, but I would never have known if I had not acted: remember: no regrets. As Morrie Schwartz tells us: So many people walk around with a meaningless life; they seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. (1)
The secret, thus, is to act. Move your life forward. Do not forget the past, learn from it and advance: spiritually, mentally and even physically (Good health is one of the many secrets to a valuable life.). Yes, you will make mistakes, errors in your life. So what? How will you grow without wisdom (knowledge and useless data are already supplied through your phone)? Put fear away. Who makes “me” afraid? The answer is, “Myself and only myself.” Embrace love: especially the love of you and your special gifts. Your job, as a mature being, is to bring those cadeaux into the world to help society grow, but you have to act to do this. Our colleague Steve, from DBA (DBAWgeslave.com), sent us this piece by Dr. Wayne Dyer (1940-2015) who leaves us with a thought: Notice each day whether you are choosing to live in fear or love. Fear can keep you disconnected from the loving presence inside of you. Causing fear is a tactic of the ego, whether it be your own ego or the world’s ego. The world’s ego is a reflection of individual ego power and the amount of fear that is active. Fear is present when we forget that we are a part of God’s divine design. Learning to experience authentic love means abandoning ego’s insistence that you have much to fear and that you are in an unfriendly world. You can make the decision to be free from fear and doubt and return to the brilliant light of love that is always with you. Who “you really are” is that unclouded love.
A closing thought: Who wants to go to Turkey at the moment? Not me: it is way too dangerous. This, of course, is just not true. Now, life is fickle and bad things do happen, but the chances that they will happen to you or to me are an infinitesimally small amount. The fear that is presented to us, each and every day, is yellow journalism (2) of the worst kind. It is being used to expand the police state (3) and to limit our personal freedom. Life is good, kind and exciting, if you want – if not?
To sum up: This week we wrote about fear: why it exists and how we can overcome it. All great thinkers indicate that we are in control of our reality, if we want. To mature and become free requires diligence and basic hard work. We stay wage slaves, ultimately, because we have allowed our emotions to convince the psyche that we are enfranchised beings and we do not deserve liberty. All of this, rather tragically, is just not true. I create “my truth,” no one else.
A small joke: Ben and Mary were recently married. They were very much in love and Ben was constantly trying to get Mary to join him on his fishing adventures. May was reticent but finally, after much prodding, she joined him on their boat. He took her out twice and then he suddenly encouraged her to stay home: it was safer, he said. One of Mary’s friends asked her why she had suddenly stopped fishing with Ben. “Well,” Mary replied, “I am not really sure.” “I was so excited” “The first time I caught five more fish than Ben and the second time seven more fish than he did.” Then, he just stopped asking me to go with him: strange!”
This week, please reflect on how fear has altered your life.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful.
Quote: If I realize that I command my world through my five senses (my sense of taste, touch, sight, smell and hearing), I can become truly free in all areas of my life. My sixth sense, perception, allows me to connect with God and the universe. This is only achieved through deep prayer and study with the self.
Footnotes:
1) Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom: ISBN 9 780751 527377
3) The Tyranny of 9/11: The Building Blocks of the American Police State from A-Z