I always find that it is great fun to deal with people, young souls in particular – they are diverse and multi-faceted – distressed and joyous. Recently, I had the chance to experience several people who were truly morose – everything was despicable and life was a nuisance at best. One was slightly older and the other was of school age. I used to dismiss these sorts of people and just “move on.” I would simply tell myself “Who has the time to deal with a curmudgeon?” That is the point, of course — no one does! They continue to exist in a world that is devoid of human kindness and thoughtfulness. They are putting “up a wall” and stopping the goodness of human interaction flow over their emotional parapet. I have decided that I am no longer going to give these people “a pass.” (1)
A small suggestion: prior to engagement, put on your best psychological armor because sometimes, just sometimes, the flak (2) is quite substantial when you converse with a confrontational individual. In my case, in the first instance, the conversation began thus: “Good morning, what a wonderful day!” “Who said so?” was the retort. Not to be deterred, I answered consequently, “God said so!” I don’t believe in God.” “How about Gaia, do you believe in Gaia, Mother Earth? I queried” “What are you talking about?” was the riposte. “I am discussing gratitude – the appreciation of just being alive!” I responded. Silence! There was a pause of reflection. “I am just very busy,” came the apology. I followed up with small tokens of appreciation for his help with my project – a chocolate here, a candy there — something to mark our interaction. This person has begun to change – not totally, to be sure. But, I detect a slight alteration. There is hope.
The other example was one of my most intransigent students. She was always in a daze and mostly slept in class. I truly feel for my students. I have shockingly read that they (we) “consume” over 100,000 words every single day, (3) obviously “driven” into their (our) cell phones – the expression “mind-numbing” can be but an understatement. In class, I try to be watchful and attentive. I look for the slightest glimmer of aspiration in the most malcontented. Her eyes sparkled when I discussed art.
I eventually came to discover that she was a latent artist who was being stifled by her teachers and her parents. Why you may ask? The common refrain was given. “They say that there is no money in art.” My reaction was to encourage her to show them the works of Picasso (4) or Damien Hirst. (5) Of course, there is money in art. There is money in everything. Excellence has virtually always survived a dearth of income. Just the acknowledgement of her special gifts had, over time, the desired effect. She slowly began to awaken and to brighten.
Now, it would be disingenuous to claim that a few words here and there can totally remake a person’s view of the world. That would be impossible. But life is one of small steps, isn’t it? We know from our own personal experiences that when we are encouraged in a new way of thinking; we can begin to see a different path and initiate our own changes. People are mostly happy. It is our responsibility, I feel, to encourage the most distressed to contemplate an alternative way of seeing life. Reality need not necessarily be a sad and sullen experience. Helen Keller (1880-1968), the great intellectual, author, and speaker, who overcame her own handicaps, leaves us with a thought: Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
A closing thought: I feel that it behooves all of us to step outside our cerebral and spiritual isolation and help others. There are people who are suffering far more than we are when faced with the conundrum of life. In assisting others we, in effect, expose ourselves to the realization that we are not truly alone but actually part of one, interconnected, human family. The feeling is one of warmth and tranquility – goodness and kindness are always ubiquitous.
To sum up: This week, we spoke about being kind to others, even when it is trying and difficult. If we don’t help the most downtrodden and bitter, who will?
To be noted: I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to “smarten up” and stop going to those places.
Just for fun: 2CELLOS – Wake Me Up
This week on your peaceful walk, please contemplate the suffering of others. Our own life is “not that bad.”
Every day look for something magical and beautiful
Quote: There is real joy in helping others discover who they are or might be.
Footnotes:
1) “To be given a pass,” is a colloquial expression that means to allow a certain form of behavior to continue.
2) This is a very descriptive video
3) Americans consume 100,000 words of information each day, study says
4) How To Understand A Picasso
5) Damien Hirst