This morning, I realized that I felt “pretty good.” I believe that many of us have had that same feeling. I have yet one more birthday approaching. This reminds me that time is relentless — it marches on: the body continues to age. But where is the pain and suffering that I anticipated at my age when I was 18 years old? It has not yet appeared. It would be false to claim that the 63-year-old body mirrors that of a 23-year-old: it doesn’t. But the frustrations and anxieties that I associated with physical age are not with me.
It would be misleading to state that the body has not had its crises: it has – a break here – an accident there – a replacement piece at another time. Like any exotic car, it needs to be maintained: the oil changed, the tires replaced and the headlights adjusted. Thus serviced, it can continue its function of carrying its passenger “hither and yon.” (1) It can go on carrying “the soul” to its ultimate destination. Why then do some of us continue to have good health well into our 90s while others sicken and die at a much younger age?
A doctor friend of mine attributes this to genetics, perhaps true. I would like to add several caveats that I am sure he would agree with: The first would be attitude. You must reject the concept of ageism. (2) The second would be a commitment to good health and exercise. The Big Five — alcohol, drugs, sex, money, and power are to be experienced (if at all) at a much earlier age and then put away. The third aspect would be a belief in something bigger than you. This resolves the dilemmas of spiritual connectivity and loneliness — the universe is your friend.
I was recently at a gathering of people mostly my age. The conversation quickly moved away from money, which was a relief, to dotage, and how one felt about the prospects of getting older. The first thing I remarked on was fear. There was a sense of trepidation in the air when this epoch was discussed. It was almost whispered – a form of silent acknowledgment that one was ever closer to that unspoken and silently feared phenomenon – death! And so it goes.
As I said recently, most of us, in my estimation, face two great conundrums in life: Freedom which appears at about 20 or so – the realization that you are, in reality, truly free to live your life in the manner that you so desire. You do not have to listen to or be influenced by the various authority figures in your life: your parents, your siblings, your classmates, or your society. You are free to choose what you want to do with your piece of life. The second is death: the inexplicable cessation of you in its present form. How do we overcome these two phenomena? This can only be achieved through belief and action?
There is a desire that until your very dying days, you can be productive; you can give something back to the society. I am not a big believer in the hermit (3) life, in escapism. Yes, we do need a time of silence and self-reflection, but then we must help our community. Why do so many old people lack respect? They have simply not earned it. Yes, they have made a lot of money: so what? Where is their contribution in assisting a very confused youth in making sense of this new reality – The Digital Age? (4) It is, in many cases, not there.
Now, it is difficult for a grandfather of 80 to be conversant with all the modern technology, contemporary terminology, and animated music. But these are just the trappings of any generation. The aged should be able to assist the young in critical thinking: how to analyze a problem or a life-changing situation. Is this not how our society lived for millennia? Many present-day seniors are allowing themselves to be warehoused and useless. It is their fault.
So, the next time you wake up and feel good, get out and do something: join a community club and teach a skill you took a lifetime learning — in short – contribute! Do some good to help make this a better world. It is the responsibility of everyone, whether we are 7 or 70. The great Portuguese poet and writer, Fernando Pessoa (5), leaves us with a thought: Our problem isn’t that we’re individualists. It’s that our individualism is static rather than dynamic. We value what we think rather than what we do. We forget that we haven’t done, or been, what we thought; that the first function of life is action, just as the first property of things is motion.
A closing thought: We are all caught up in this great enigma called life. It is truly up to the individual to slow down its spinning. Much like Felix Baumgartner when he plunged from space (6), we must arrest being out of control and slowly make sense of our reality. Then, I must find my mission, however arduous the calling, and get to work – action. It is only in this way that I will live a fulfilling life. No amount of material success can supplant completing your true-life mission.
To sum up: This week we spoke about age and ageism. This is a great dilemma for most people.
To be noted: From the great comic George Burns (7) — You can’t help getting older, you don’t have to get old.
Just for fun: Carmen Suite – Andrés Orozco-Estrada
For reflection: How To Really Listen To People
This week please contemplate how you see getting older.
Every day look for something magical and beautiful
Quote: Today, be grateful just to be alive. You can now make your life better.
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