I’d like to take us down a more serious route, a different vein today. Most of our podcasts are uplifting, positive, because you and I both want the very best for humanity, because like Aristotle tells us, we have the opportunity in life to be happy.
Think about this. Life is a long experience, but it is in this reality, it’s still finite. So why wouldn’t you bring as much joy as possible to your life?
But there are, however, people that don’t want this, and they are called toxic people. So I’d like to talk a little bit about this, and the proviso here is that what I’m saying comes with, of course, a warning. We have to be careful of toxic people.
So what are toxic people? Toxic people are especially people who look for the negative. They normally consistently spread manipulation, resentment, I don’t know, chaos, whatever it is.
They really distress you. And the problem, I think, is not so much toxic people alone, is that they also make you toxic.
They unleash in you a resentment and a bitterness that you normally don’t have, because this is normally not a part of the average person’s life. Like I said earlier, we want to be happy, but I’m sure you have friends like this.
Whatever you say, everything’s wrong. If you travel with them, the flight is always late, it’s overcrowded, the food was poor, I mean, it just goes on and on. And you say to yourself, I love this person, but how long can I be around them?
So true. This is especially correct if you’re dealing with perhaps a husband or a wife.
And I think toxicity, to be honest, comes and goes in a person’s life, because sometimes people are just totally overwhelmed, and I think it’s always based myself on fear.
Somehow their inner life is so traumatic and so chaotic that all they can do is spout bitterness, negativity, anger, frustration. It goes on and on. So what do I do?
How can I possibly, I mean, this is my concern, how can I possibly deal with toxic people without catching the poison? I don’t want to become toxic. I’m sure you don’t want to either.
So I think we must do a couple of things. Firstly, it’s up to you to choose who you become. It’s your life after all.
Where you’re going with this life is totally your own, for sure. And then I think it’s very important to not begin to mirror this behavior. So if they’re angry, suddenly you’re angry.
And this is pointless. It’s no good at all. I think with most toxic people, we’re very hopeful that we’re going to change people, right?
I’m going to change you. I’m going to make you so much more contented and peaceful and all the rest. Hey, you cannot change toxic people.
They want to be toxic. They like it in a bizarre way. And I think we have to keep our own boundaries, right?
Just calm down. Say to yourself, wow, this is like theater. And my actor is going to play the happy guy because toxic people are looking for a reaction.
You say something, and then they’re off, and you’re just fueling the fire. Absolutely pointless.
Don’t defend yourself, don’t defend your values, whatever that means. And there is a process, believe it or not, called the Gray Rock Approach. It was invented by a blogger called Skylar in 2012.
And essentially it means that what you do is you force yourself, in all circumstances, to remain calm, minimal.
Do not get involved in this, because remember that toxic people are probably poisoning themselves far more than they’re doing it to you, right? So, guard your language. Don’t ask questions like, why are you doing this?
What’s going on? And then you begin to vent. Who do you think you are?
Pointless. You’re just adding gasoline to a fire that’s already raging. Back away.
You’re not going to win this fight. You’re not going to help people. Remember, like I said earlier, they like the way they are.
They’re in this loop. Pain, suffering, anger. Pain, suffering, anger.
They’re victims, essentially. Victims to themselves, victims to the world. There’s nothing you can do.
Reclaim your silence. Find that inner voice, that inner peace, right? Because ultimately, toxic people for sure are somehow wounded, somehow.
And you’re not going to cure them. However, that’s on the negative side, on the positive side. I truly believe if you show love, love is returned back.
I really believe this. And then over time, hopefully, you become some type of medicine to the other person’s soul, and slowly but surely, they change. But you can’t change them.
The only person who’s going to change me is me, of course. Right? All you can do is be a model.
And I think as the society deepens, and as the age of comparison grows, we are obviously going to see more and more toxicity, aren’t we? More and more.
So we’re into the world of the so-called hope core, which is, I think, we talked about before, which is a little bit like naive hope, and the other, of course, the opposite, is doom-scrolling.
Young people are just infected with the news to the point that they don’t want to know. I have the experience of teaching a lot of high school students, and very few of them know anything about the world we live in at the moment. Nothing at all.
And when they do get involved, they could only become more and more bitter. So if they go home and they’re exposed to a toxic environment, whatever that means, they themselves can become toxic. So I think that we all have to be icons of goodness.
And if we accomplish this in ourselves, then perhaps we can be models for other individuals. But there are no guarantees. You have to find that inner peace.
It’s all you can do in a changing world, in a frustrating world, the inner peace. And do not get infected by toxic people. And the only antidote is to go and talk to yourself.
Somehow talk to yourself and not allow yourself to be poisoned. And ultimately, Aristotle believes that we have the potential to live out happy lives. Life is hard.
Anyone that tells you life is easy doesn’t understand life. In my estimation, but if you really strive and you take risk and the possibility of failure is there, you could suffer, but feel the joy in your heart. This is the point, isn’t it?
And you know what they say. You know what they say. Critical thinking is necessary, especially if you’re going to avoid the toxicity that exists in society and sometimes with people.
And critical thinking is great, truly great. You take care. God bless.
Bye bye.