Now and forever: I saw this sign on a building recently. It got me to thinking: this is a concept that imbues our society, certainly from an educational perspective. I get a degree or degrees and this allows me some level of entitlement for the rest of my life. My diplomas segue into an excellent job and a wonderful existence. But, unfortunately, this is not reality.

There are far too many “good and qualified” candidates filling all employment levels in contemporary society – from the lowest service job, let’s say MacDonald’s or its ilk, to a high corporate position. If you believe that this is related to your education, you are misinformed or naïve. Of course, an education helps — it opens the doors. But, in reality, your success is based on your effort – your hard work. This idea is further adumbrated by the concept of being a lifetime learner – whether you are 16 or 60.

I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine about age. He surrounds himself with tired, old people. He is, therefore, deeply concerned about age and sickness, and death. Like a boat in a raging river, it is foolish to believe that you can control the flow of time, but you can be the helmsman that safely navigates your vessel through the treacherous whirlpools and threatening outcroppings of life. Life is ephemeral, and so it should be. What would be the purpose of having my “piece of life,” to paraphrase Sadhguru, (1) if it were not filled with spiritual and physical tussles to overcome, and enlightened realizations to be achieved?

For young people, many struggle with the awareness, upon finishing university, that everyone, all your peers and classmates, are perfect — everyone is 100%, as I like to say. What do I mean by this? Quite simply, the level of achievement is excellent. Everyone has a high score, is good looking, from a good family, has some money, etc. What makes me “stand out” in a field that is so filled with everyone who is, basically, superb? What makes me 100% +? The only solution is in your personal brand, in your élan or style. Are you the type of person who is unforgettable? If not, make yourself so. There is a large trend in the US, for example, that your social etiquette skills must be equal or superior to your professional accreditations.

“Chase Manhattan Bank, (2) for example, runs business etiquette and multicultural awareness seminars for its employees, including those on Long Island (3). Topics for new hires focus on proper decorum in introductions and maintaining a professional appearance. Senior executives are taught to fine-tune restaurant manners and mixing and mingling.”(4)

It is tragic when you think of it. You lose a position because you didn’t stand up when introduced to the owner or you picked your teeth at the table during a business dinner. I had a young client who spoke perfect English. He lost his job with a big international firm when upon being introduced to the Chairman, asked him, rather perfunctorily, “How’s it going, man?” The response was, “You’re going” (out the door). He was subsequently dismissed – the older man not willing to countenance such perceived rudeness.

This is unforgivable behavior that can be learned relatively easily. Everyone can become competent in being introduced properly and basic eating etiquette. (5) These are skills that are not innate, however, and must be learned – certainly on an international level. So, develop your personal brand and be prepared for change. Life has always been dynamic and will continue to be so. Businesswoman and designer, Paloma Picasso, (6) leaves us with a thought: Personal style is not something that is just in the air. It is something you have and that you apply to yourself.

A closing thought: It is important in life that you reward yourself with the tools necessary to do your job. You have only one opportunity to make a “first impression.” This is not some snobbish attribute but a very real quality of who you are, at least physically in the world. The next time, after you have a shower, stare at that image in the mirror. That is not you because you are here on the other side of the glass safely ensconced in your pajamas. That representation is how you are perceived “in the world.” In a developed human being, the interior essence and the exterior representation are seamless.

To sum up: This week, we spoke about the idea that life is ephemeral. You must, therefore, make yourself a dynamic, sophisticated human being, why not?

To be noted: This from author Max Lucado (7) — A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

Just for fun: Cello Suite No. 2

For reflection: Documentary on Krishnamurti schools

This week on your thoughtful walk, please reflect on how you respond to the changes associated with life.

Every day look for something magical and beautiful

Quote: I must promise myself to aspire for excellence each and every day.

Footnotes:

1) Sadhguru

2) Chase Bank

3) Long Island 

4) Companies Honing Employees’ Etiquette

5) Emily Post: “Table Manners”

6) Paloma Picasso

7) Max Lucado